Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: All of the materials borrowed from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel the Series belong to Joss Whedon and to the entities and companies associated with their creation.  I have borrowed them for creative and entertainment purposes only.  No compensation has been or ever shall be received for the writing below.  No copyright infringement is intended.

My Website: http://www.dragonwriter17.net/

Feedback: Yes, but only if it’s of the non-flamey variety: DragonWriter17@aol.com

Distribution: BuffynFaith.net, The Mystic Muse, and my personal site (If you are interested in posting my story on your site, please contact me first for permission.)

Spoilers: BtVS Season 6 (and beyond)

Pairings: Buffy/Faith

Author’s Notes: (1) This story rewrites the events of Buffy's resurrection and introduces a number of non-canon plot changes. One is that Spike leaves town almost immediately after Buffy's death. Another is that Giles leaves much earlier than he did in the original episode, long before Buffy is resurrected. The others you can probably figure out as you go along. (2) The story is written in modified Watchers style. This means that it uses something similar to scene headers in screenplays, but the actual text is mostly written in fiction format. Unlike Watchers, though, I may occasionally show a character’s thoughts in italics. (3) In Part 1 of my fan fic story "The Buffy Tapes," I created four flashbacks that occurred behind the scenes of the actual BTVS Season 3 (one flashback is before "Revelations"; another is between "Lovers Walk" and "The Wish"; the third is after "Amends"; and the last one is after the end of "Consequences.") I'm assuming those same events--or something similar to them--happened in the past of this new story; however, none of the other non-canonical events of "The Buffy Tapes," other than those flashbacks, occurred here. (4) Thanks, as always, to Lilly for the beta read and edit! (5) I would also like to thank the Buffy-vs-Angel web site, whose transcripts I used ("Faith, Hope and Trick," "Bargaining I and II," "Afterlife," and "Tabula Rasa") and Bxverse Productions, who created a music video to accompany the story:
http://youtu.be/77vS3U8-tVg

Number of Chapters: 20 chapters are planned.

Complete: 15

Story Premise: This story explores Faith's reaction to Buffy's death and resurrection, and it presents a new take on the real reason Buffy was raised from the dead.

Back to Parts 1-6     Jump to Parts 11-15

PART 07     PART 08     PART 09     PART 10

Return to the Home Page       Return to BtVS Stories

PART 07

Fade In:
Greyhound Bus -- Night

Just as the bus hit the city limits of Sunnydale, Faith was struck by a crushing pain that raced through her body. She cried out and tried to rise from her seat, but instead she fell to the floor of the bus, screaming and writhing in agony.

At first the passengers closest to her moved in her direction, but they backed away in fear when they saw the intensity of her reaction.

Cut To:
Series of Shots -- Buffy in her Coffin/Faith on the Greyhound Bus

-- Buffy screaming as her Fall ended with her resurrection inside her buried coffin
-- Faith still screaming on the floor of the bus
-- Buffy wailing in anguish then realizing where she was
-- Faith curling onto her side and crying
-- Buffy weeping as she frantically pounded the sides of the coffin and ripped at the cloth covering the inside of the lid
-- Faith flipping onto her back and tearing at her clothes

Cut To:
Greyhound Bus -- Resume

"What the hell's going on?" the bus driver called out as he looked into the mirror that allowed him to view the cabin behind him.

"This girl's freaking out, man!" yelled a scraggly haired teen with headphones around his neck.

"She must be having some kind of seizure!" an older woman exclaimed.

"Just keep back, don't try to hold her down..." the driver instructed. "Somebody call 911, I'll try and pull--oh shit !"

When the driver dropped his eyes from the mirror back to the four-lane road, he saw a mob of demon bikers barreling towards him. He swerved sharply to the right, causing the wheels of the bus to slide onto the rough slope of the shoulder.

As he struggled to maintain control, the passengers were tossed about the cabin. They screamed and tried to hang on. Faith, however, was oblivious to the motion of the bus, still caught in a nightmare of pain that she didn't understand.

When the driver attempted to pull back onto the highway, he overcompensated, and the bus veered across the lanes and into the median. It hit the divider at just the right angle and went airborne. The bus reared up into the air, twisted, and then slammed down onto the driver's side.

After skidding down the asphalt, the bus came to a stop. Several of the passengers were crying and groaning as they dragged themselves to their feet. With the bus on its side, they had to stand on the shattered driver's-side windows. When they glanced around the cabin, they saw that the driver and a man who had been seated near him were both dead. When they looked at the back of the bus, they saw Faith lying contorted and motionless amidst the broken glass and damaged seats. Assuming that she was also dead, the surviving passengers found the escape hatch on the roof, kicked it open, and crawled outside.

Once they got outside the bus, they found themselves under attack by the biker demons who had caused the wreck in the first place. The Hellions rode circles around the frightened passengers, preventing them from moving away from the wreckage. Then suddenly one of the demons lit a Molotov cocktail and threw it at the bus. The bottle crashed into the roof and exploded, sending tongues of fire against the backs of the fleeing passengers and into the open escape hatch.

Inside the bus, Faith moaned as she slowly regained consciousness. As soon as she was able to shake some of the fuzziness from her head, she felt massive panic set in. The bus was on fire, and she was trapped within the twisted remains of the row of seats she'd been in. Panting for breath in the increasingly smoky cabin, she fought to pull her legs from the misshapen bus seats.

When she had finally freed herself, she stood and glanced toward the growing fire that was in the area of the escape hatch. She could see that there was no way out but up. She climbed up the row of seats above her until she got to the window on the passenger side of the bus. She used one hand to hang on to the seat and the other to punch the window with her fist. It cracked but didn't break. She hit it again.

Cut To:
Buffy's Grave --Same Time

Buffy relentlessly punched the coffin's exposed wooden lid, pummeling it until her fist eventually cracked through. She pulled away piece after piece of broken wood, causing dirt to rain down upon her. She was drawing in ragged, panicked breaths when she finally cleared enough of the lid to escape.

As she crawled through the opening, the jagged edges of the wood bit into her flesh and ripped her clothes. She ignored the pain, focusing only on digging through the dank, dark, heavy earth. She forced her way to the top until she emerged from the grave, clawing herself across the grassy soil.

Struggling to her feet, she stood beside her grave, looking lost and confused.

Cut To:
Greyhound Bus -- Resume

Just as Faith nearly succumbed to the smoke, the window above her finally shattered, and she pulled herself up through the broken glass. Coughing for air, she dragged herself across the side of the bus and slid over the edge.

Her body hit the pavement with a thud. She groaned and grimaced then forced herself to jump up. Just as she started dashing away, the fire reached the gas tank, and the bus blew. The explosion sent Faith reeling to the ground. She immediately got back up and kept running.

Once she was a safe distance away, she stopped and caught her breath. She turned around and stared in shock as the wreckage was consumed by the intense flames.

It took a few seconds for Faith to register the rest of the scene around her. Over the roar of the bus fire, she heard motorcycles revving and rumbling and people screaming. When she turned around, she saw one group of demon bikers smashing into a convenience store and another set chasing people in the parking lot.

"Welcome back to the hellmouth, Faith! Gee, thanks," she quipped to herself as she surveyed the chaotic scene. Then she pulled her dagger from her jacket and ran for the store parking lot at slayer speed.

Cut To:
Convenience Store -- Seconds Later

When the Hellion named Clyed stepped out of the store's busted front window with a buddy of his, he nearly dropped the cases of beer he was carrying. He couldn't believe his eyes. A small girl with long dark hair was whaling into his brothers. She had already downed one and was just in the process of clothes-lining another from his bike.

"Slayer!" Clyed exclaimed in surprise.

"But I thought Sunnydale wasn't supposed to have a slayer," his buddy said.

"Well, you thought wrong," Faith called out as she stabbed the demon she had knocked from his bike. "That's right," she added with a smile as she headed toward the beer-stealing duo. "There's a new sheriff in town..."

The two demons tossed their beer and ran for their motorcycles.

"Hey!" Faith shouted. "Get back here!" Then she took off after them.

Clyed's bike started immediately, and he zoomed away. His buddy wasn't so lucky. By the time he got his bike started, Faith was on him. She leaped onto his back, snapped his neck, and tossed him off the bike. Before the motorcycle could even hit the ground, she caught it, righted it, and slipped onto its seat. With an ear splitting screech of tires, she sped away after Clyed.

Cut To:
Downtown -- Same Time

Meanwhile, Buffy had trudged from the hidden site of her grave to the edges of the downtown area. In her tattered and dirty funeral clothes, she stumbled along the streets, crying, her whole upper body heaving from the force of her sobs. At one point she stopped and bent over at the waist, hugging herself tightly.

No word existed for the kind of agony she was experiencing. Every nerve in her body was screaming 'pain!' at the same time, and her soul was crying out in utter anguish, and she didn't even know why. She finally had to slip to her knees until the worst of her sobs had passed.

Eventually, she somehow pulled herself together enough to stand again and then resumed her walking. She didn't know where she was going; she just knew she needed to keep moving. As she walked, she repeatedly straightened her back and shifted her arms, unable to relieve the sharp pain that burned at her shoulder blades.

When she drew closer to Main Street, she winced at the lights and sounds. She saw several of the biker demons destroying a storefront, but she made no move to intervene. They ignored her as well, too intent on their looting to care about the lone, lost-looking human wandering the streets.

When Buffy came to a burning car, she walked past it, squinting and frowning at it. Then a Hellion rumbled by on his motorcycle and smashed an empty beer bottle to the pavement. Buffy backed away, frightened.

Cut To:
Wooded Area -- Same Time

Clyed had tried to lose the slayer by leaving the pavement and driving off into the woods, but the effort had failed. She was right on his tail and quickly closing.

Just as she came alongside his motorcycle, ready to jump him, her bike hit a log. The bike stopped short, but unfortunately, she didn't. Her momentum flung her forward, and she tumbled through leaves, logs, and rocks before landing on her back on a grassy area. Clyed sped away on his bike through the forest.

"Owww...fuck..." Faith groaned. "This is the part I don't miss about slaying..."

When she rolled onto her stomach and got to her knees, she noticed that she had been lying across the top part of a grave. She took one look at the headstone and felt her heart seize.

Buffy Anne Summers
1981-2001
Beloved Sister
Devoted Friend
She Saved The World
A Lot

As she stared at the inscription, tears welled up in her eyes. "Buffy..." she whispered, reaching out to touch the carved stone.

When she finally tore her gaze from the headstone, she realized that the grave itself was disturbed. Directly to her left was a gaping hole. When she looked down inside, she could see that the coffin had been broken into and was now empty.

"Son of a bitch!" she swore, thinking that the biker demons had stolen Buffy's body. "Fuckin' son of a bitch!"

She whipped around and glared back in the direction of the town, where the Hellions were undoubtedly still wreaking havoc.

"I'm gonna kill 'em," she growled. "Gonna kill 'em all..."

She let out a roar and took off.

Cut To:
Residential Area -- Same Time

Buffy was still wandering, traumatized and confused. As a siren whined in the distance, she went to a parked car and leaned wearily against it. The car's lights instantly started flashing, and its security system began to wail and honk. Buffy pressed her hands over her ears in pain.

The house lights came on, and the front door opened. A man holding a shotgun rushed out onto the porch.

"What are you doing?!!" the homeowner demanded.

Buffy peered at him through her fingers as she blocked the light with her hand.

"Get away from there!!" he yelled.

Buffy just squinted at him.

"Do you hear me?" he yelled, moving down his front steps and onto the sidewalk. "I said get off my property!"

When he racked his shotgun, a Hellion suddenly screeched by on his bike and flung a firebomb toward the porch. The bottle hit the homeowner dead on, and the man was immediately engulfed in flames.

Buffy gasped in horror as the burning man ran toward her, shrieking in pain.

"Oh god, oh god!" she cried before fleeing.

Cut To:
Main Street -- Near Sun Cinema -- Minutes Later

Razor and more than a dozen of his gang were gathered in front of the Sun Cinema. Their bikes were parked in loose lines in front of the theater's entrance. Barrels of trash were burning nearby. The demons themselves carried torches, weapons, and bottles of booze and beer.

Razor waved his arms in the air. "Say hello to your new home, boys!"

The demons cheered. One of them took a mouthful of booze and blew it at his torch, creating a huge flame.

"This here is a momentous occasion, the beginning of a new era," Razor went on. "Now, no question, the open back roads and highways have been good to us. But we've got ourselves a juicy little burg here, just ripe for the picking. And I ain't in no hurry to leave it, you?"

"Noooo!" yelled all the demons.

"So I figure, what better way to kick off our semi-settling-down, than with a little christening?"

The crowd of demons cheered as four Hellions attached chains to their motorcycles.

"A symbolic act commemorating the new order around here," Razor said, "and ridding ourselves of any not-so-pleasant reminders of the old."

Razor held up a revolver and theatrically put a bullet in. "All in one quick, really, really violent fell swoop." He held the gun back up. "Gentlemen, start your engines."

The four demons with chains on their bikes were pointed in opposite directions. They started up their bikes. The chains attached to the bikes were wrapped around the helpless Buffybot. The demons sat still on their bikes, engines rumbling.

"Bye-bye, slayer!" Razor yelled before firing into the air.

The motorcycles streaked away, ripping Buffybot's arms and legs from her body. Razor grinned and tossed the gun aside.

Razor walked over to where Buffybot's torso lay. He stomped on the robot's neck, severing her head from her body. Then he picked up Buffybot's head and held it up by its hair in front of his gang. "Now that we've properly christened our new home, let's get down to business!" He tossed Buffybot's head into a nearby burning barrel.

The gang went wild with hoots and cheers.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH BUFFY?!! "

Razor and his gang stopped cheering and turned toward the booming voice. They saw a dark haired girl before them--a dagger in her hand and vengeance in her eyes.

"WHERE IS SHE?!!" Faith yelled, pointing at Razor with her dagger.

Clyed nudged Razor and whispered, "That's her! The other slayer! Only she ain't no robot."

"The real thing, eh?" Razor said. "Don't matter. Just another body for the fire."

The demon leader pulled out the keys to his motorcycle and gave them several nonchalant twirls around his finger as he sauntered in Faith's direction. The gold medallion that served as a key chain flashed in the firelight. His gang parted to make way for him, and when he had gotten about halfway toward the slayer, the Hellions formed a circle around them.

Razor stopped his key twirling and feigned puzzlement. "Hmmm, Buffy, Buffy?" Then he held out his hand as if to approximate a height. "Blonde, about this high?" he asked before answering himself. "Oh yeah, I ripped her apart. I imagine you'll be finding pieces of her all over this place."

The Hellions laughed raucously.

"Next in line for the ripping apart?" Razor announced, pointing at Faith with his keys still in his hand. "You."

"You son of a bitch!" Faith yelled as she rushed the gang leader.

Razor just laughed, tucked his keys into his pocket, and backed out of the circle, letting his boys descend upon the slayer.

Faith went into a whirlwind of kicks and punches, stabs and slices, taking out demon after demon. Her rage and her slayer powers gave her a strength and a ferocity that the Hellions couldn't match, despite their greater numbers.

Faith, however, wasn't exactly going untouched during the battle. By the time she had whittled Razor's boys down, she was bruised and bleeding and had lost her dagger. She knocked out the last two with a set of vicious punches to the head. Then she turned to face Razor, the last one standing.

He glared at her as she walked over to her dagger and picked it up. Her legs nearly gave out on her, and her arms were trembling with exhaustion, but she refused to let him see that. She stood up straight and made a sarcastic wave of welcome with her arms.

"I believe you were next," she snarked.

Razor snapped out the blades on the fingers of his right hand and rushed the slayer. They met in a titanic clash in the center of the street.

Cut To:
Further Down Main Street -- Moments Earlier

Still trying to escape the horror of seeing the homeowner torched in front of her, Buffy hurried along the sidewalk. She was crying, continuing to repeat 'oh god' to herself. Periodically she would glance over her shoulder, fearing that the demons might be coming up behind her.

When she got to the point where she could see the cinema in the distance ahead of her, she instantly stopped walking. Her eyes widened at the sight of the cheering demons in front of the theater.

She drew in a terrified breath before turning on her heel and rushing away.

"WHERE IS SHE?!! "

Buffy froze in place when she heard this voice booming from within the crowd of demons. She slowly turned back around and looked. She could now see that someone was battling the mass of demons.

"Faith?" she called out tentatively.

Cautiously, Buffy started moving toward the fight.

Cut To:
Main Street -- Near the Sun Cinema -- Resume

Both Razor and Faith were bleeding from multiple wounds, but Faith was the one who could no longer hide her fatigue. She tried to call upon her hate, her outrage, her desire for revenge, but it wasn't working. She was just spent. Still, she fought on. She thrust forward with her dagger but missed. When Razor counterattacked, she couldn't react fast enough to defend herself. His left hand shot out and latched around her neck. As he began to squeeze, he lifted her off the ground.

Gasping for breath, Faith swiped at Razor with her blade; he easily knocked it from her grip. With her dagger gone, she used both of her hands to try and pry the demon's fingers from her throat, but it was useless.

While he continued to apply pressure, she could feel herself starting to pass out. As she began to see prickles of light at the edges of her vision, she directed her final thoughts to Buffy.

I'm sorry, she told her. I tried...

Seeing the slayer begin to cease her struggles, Razor pulled her close and got right in her face.

"You know...I really enjoyed ripping your little blonde friend apart," he said with a sadistic smirk, "but I think I'm gonna enjoy you more...it'll be much more fun with a live one..."

That was all it took for Faith to get the extra boost of rage she needed. With all her might, she rammed both of her knees into Razor's groin. He instantly doubled over, releasing her in the process. When she hit the ground, she scrambled back for her dagger. By the time Razor raised up, Faith buried the blade deep into his belly. He made a strangled sound in his throat and then peered down in disbelief.

"Who's ripped up now?" she taunted as she yanked the dagger upwards, splitting open his stomach.

As demon blood and guts poured over her hand, Faith shoved Razor off the blade. He gurgled one last time and then died. Wanting to be sure, Faith moved around his body to his head and slashed the dagger through his neck, slitting his throat almost to the point of decapitation. Satisfied that he was dead, she stepped back to catch her breath.

Once she was breathing a bit more normally, she knelt beside Razor and reached into his jacket pockets. She kept searching until she found what she was looking for--his set of keys. She studied the gold medallion that served as the key chain. It appeared to be the Hellions' coat of arms. She smiled to herself and twirled them on her finger as Razor had done.

"Guess you won't be needin' these anymore," she told the dead demon as she stood back up.

"Neither will you!"

Faith whipped around to see four more demons coming her way--the two she had knocked out at the end of the fight and two new ones who had just come upon the scene.

Faith's shoulders slumped. "You gotta be kiddin' me..."

Already so tired she could barely stand, she decided a bluff was in order. She stood up straight and shot her meanest glare at the four demons. She twirled the keys and then caught them in a fierce grip.

"You try and take these," she told them as she put the keys in the inner pocket of her leather jacket, "you're gonna end up like all your buddies here, 'specially him." She gestured at Razor's gutted body with her dagger. "So save your guts and get the hell out of here!"

The demon who spoke just narrowed his eyes and growled. Then he barked to the others, "Get her!"

"Well, it was worth a try," Faith mumbled to herself before preparing to defend against the attacking demons.

Cut To:
Further Down Main Street -- Moments Later

As Buffy drew closer to the theater, she suddenly realized that Faith was in danger. She called out Faith's name and tore off in a run. As she passed by a demolished utilities truck, she grabbed a sawed-off length of metal conduit to use as a weapon.

Cut To:
Main Street -- Near the Sun Cinema -- Same Time

Faith had managed to kill one of the four demons, but as fatigued as she was, she hadn't been able to hold out against the remaining three. They had disarmed her and then pummeled her into the pavement. When she was sufficiently dazed, the new wannabe leader had the other two lift Faith from the ground and hold her up by her arms while he continued beating her.

With blood pouring down her face and her consciousness fading with every punch, Faith couldn't help but think about the last time she'd been in this position--at the hands of Debbie and her girls in prison.

Left jaw! Ain't this... Right jaw! ...some fuckin'... Body blow! ...deja vu...

The demon slammed punch after punch into the slayer's head and body until he saw her eyes close and her head loll forward. When he went to reach into the inner pocket of her jacket, though, he jerked and then stopped as a long piece of metal conduit penetrated his skull.

The two demons holding Faith watched their brother crumple to the ground. Then they turned to see where the metallic missile had come from. When they saw the enraged blonde bearing down upon them, they threw Faith face down on the ground and rushed forward to meet the new threat.

In the middle of the fight, Faith came to long enough to raise her head and glance bleary-eyed at the ongoing battle.

"Buffy?" she asked in confusion before quickly dropping right back down. Her body seemed to sink even further as a long breath came out of her mouth. When her eyes closed, she stopped moving altogether.

Once Buffy had finished off the two demons, she rushed to Faith's side and carefully turned her over. She gently caressed the slayer's battered face and called out to her.

"Faith? Faith?"

The slayer was completely unresponsive. Buffy gave the brunette's shoulders a small shake, but her body was totally limp.

"No, no...god, no..." Buffy cried. "Faith, please wake up...please..."

After failing to get any response from the fallen slayer, Buffy finally broke down.

"NOOOOOO..." she wailed in anguish, draping herself over Faith's body.
 

PART 08

Fade In:
Apartment Off Main Street -- Living Room -- Night

Faith lay on her back on the hardwood floor of the foyer area. She was completely still except for the slight rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. Slowly, her beaten face scrunched into a grimace, and her eyelids began to flutter open. She appeared a bit dazed as her eyes tried to focus on her surroundings.

She could make out a ceiling above her and a door at her feet. To her right, she saw an interior wall with a row of coat hooks and a cluster of small paintings. To her left, she saw a recliner, and beyond it, the living room of what appeared to be an efficiency apartment of some kind.

"What the hell?" she mumbled, wondering where she was and how she had gotten there.

She started to sit up, but the intense pain forced her back down. She was hurting all over, but it was her stomach and ribs that hurt the most.

"Fuck..." she groaned as she cradled her arms against her body.

When her head began to pound and her back to ache, she decided that she'd have to get up. She took in a deep breath and blew it out before making herself roll over and rise to her hands and knees. She paused, grimacing again, letting herself adjust to the pain before moving to the next stage of standing. With a final push, she got to her feet.

"Damn, I'm gettin' too old for this..." she grumbled as she straightened up. When she realized what she had said, she snorted. "Yeah, too old at twenty. Better send me to the old slayers retirement home."

Faith forced herself to go through a few stretches. "Just rusty, I guess. Prison made me soft." She couldn't help snorting again.

The sarcastic chuckle gave way to a hissing curse when the sharp jab of bruised ribs shot through the left side of her body.

"Damn, those fuckers beat the shit outta me..."

It was then that she caught sight of herself in the large mirror on the wall opposite the front door. Her hair was a tangled mess. One clump above her forehead was matted with partially dried blood. A streak of red ran down that side of her face. Another line of blood led from her split lip, over her chin, and down her neck. Both jaws were bruised. One of her eyes was swollen and beginning to turn black.

"And I left prison for this?" she quipped before turning around to face the living room.

She absently wiped at her chin with her sleeve as she shuffled between the recliner and the television and then over to the large living room window. When she pulled the curtain away and looked outside, she saw that she was in a second floor apartment. She could make out another building across from her and an alley below.

"Must be those apartments on the back of the furniture store," she mused. "But how did I get here?" She turned back around and glanced at the front door. "I guess I must've dragged myself here after the battle."

She squinted her eyes and tried to recall what had happened. She'd been fighting those four demons that showed up after she'd killed the gang leader. She remembered killing one, then getting jumped by the other three, then...

She shook her head, trying to clear her muddled memory, but it didn't work. "I really gotta stop getting these head injuries," she said as she gingerly pressed her fingertips against the crusty wound at her hairline. With a heavy sigh, she headed for the kitchen area. "This place better have hot water..."

Cut To:
Apartment -- Hallway -- Continuous

Without even wondering if anyone else was in the apartment, Faith trudged past the eat-in kitchen and into the short hallway. She had expected the bathroom to be right after the kitchen, but it wasn't. Must be off the bedroom, she thought to herself as she forced herself to keep walking even though every step sent a new streak of pain through her body. As she moved toward the bedroom, she was so stuck in her own physical discomfort that she didn't even notice the sounds of crying coming from the room ahead of her.

Cut To:
Apartment -- Bedroom -- Continuous

As Faith turned the corner into the bedroom, she stopped dead in her tracks. She couldn't believe what she was seeing.

Buffy sat on the edge of bed, rocking and holding herself, sobbing inconsolably. Her long blonde hair was frazzled and dirty. The long-sleeved black dress she wore was dingy and ripped in multiple places. Fresh cuts were on her face and arms.

As Faith stared in utter disbelief, Buffy was totally oblivious to the other slayer's presence. She just continued crying hysterically, "Please make it not real...please make it not real...please..."

In a flash, Faith's mind filled in the blanks of her memory. She saw the demon who was beating her get skewered by a piece of metal conduit that came out of nowhere. Next thing she knew, she was face down on the ground. When she looked up, she could have sworn she saw Buffy slaying the remaining demons. She remembered saying Buffy's name before everything went dark.

As her brain struggled to come up with an adequate explanation, Faith could only speak the slayer's name again.

"Buffy?"

Buffy's head snapped up at the sound of Faith's voice. She leaped to her feet and rushed to hug her fellow slayer. "Faith! You're alive!" she sobbed. "Thank god...thank god...I thought you were dead..."

Faith was still in a state of complete shock. It took her a full minute to even respond to Buffy's hug, to loosely return it. She couldn't even feel her physical pain at that moment; her mind was just reeling. She thought I was dead?

Meanwhile, Buffy continued to be overcome with emotion. "I-I-I tried to wake you up," she wailed, "but you wouldn't wake up...you wouldn't wake up..."

This can't be happening, Faith thought. Buffy's dead. I must be hallucinating, I gotta be. Still just stupidly wishing for what I can never have. Unless...this is that Buffy robot the doc told me about...

Faith abruptly grabbed the blonde around her biceps and shoved her away, holding her at arm's length. Buffy's crying hiccupped to a stop as the dark slayer examined her intently.

Faith recognized the adorably unique nose and the wide mouth with its pleasantly pouty lower lip. She gazed into the familiar green eyes that were now rimmed in red from crying. Then she caught sight of the dried blood on the other woman's face. It was from a row of jagged scrapes on her cheek. Then the truth hit her: robots don't bleed.

She reached up and cupped Buffy's scratched cheek. She gently ran her thumb along the lines of dried blood before lifting her eyes to meet Buffy's. "I thought I imagined you, but...it's really you, isn't it?"

With a few tears still trickling down, Buffy nodded. 

Now it was Faith's turn to do the bear-hugging. "God, I never thought I'd see you again," she said in a choked voice as she held Buffy tightly. It took all of her will not to begin sobbing herself.

After a lengthy embrace, Faith pulled back and stared at Buffy in amazement. "How--? How are you here?" she asked, still holding the other slayer's arms.

Buffy frowned and shook her head. "I don't know," she said. "I don't know..."

"Are you hurt anywhere?" Faith asked in sudden concern as she began scanning the blonde for injuries more serious than scratches.

"No, I don't think so," Buffy replied. "Not like you," she added, ending Faith's inspection by touching the slayer's bruised face.

For an intense moment, the two slayers locked eyes. Their hearts began beating madly, and they could feel fire racing under their skin where they touched. They were both breathing hard when Faith finally cleared her throat and stepped back out of touching range. She shoved her hands into the back pockets of her jeans.

"Look…I know I'm probably the last person you want to see, but I think we better stick together for a while. At least until we see how things are outside." She tilted her head toward the window behind the bed.

When Buffy turned and saw the window, she immediately backed away from it, whimpering. "I don't want to go outside," she said in a small, scared voice.

"It's okay, it's okay," Faith assured her. "You don't have to. I don't want to go out there either. No way I can take on any demons right now. I'm tapped out."

Buffy became upset again. She wrapped her arms around herself and cringed with her back against the wall. "Are we in hell?" she begged with new tears streaming down her face. "Please tell me we're not in hell...please..."

Faith grasped Buffy's shoulders. "We're not in hell," she told her. When Buffy didn't meet her gaze, she reached up and lifted Buffy's chin. "We're not in hell, and we're not dead. I promise."

When Buffy had calmed somewhat, Faith stepped back and gestured toward the bed. "Why don't we sit down?"

Buffy wiped the tears from her cheeks and nodded, then joined Faith at the end of the bed.

"Tell me what you remember," Faith asked. "I mean, obviously you remember me--of all things--but what else?"

Buffy thought for a moment and then said, "I remember my life before I died, and I remember dying, but...then it all goes fuzzy. How long was I dead?"

"One hundred and forty-seven days," Faith instantly replied. "But who's counting?" she added with a chuckle, a little embarrassed at her answer. She turned the conversation back to what Buffy remembered. "How about this?" she suggested. "What if you start with now and work your way back? Like, why did you think you were in hell? I mean, I know Sunnydale's like Demon City at the moment, but compared to where you were, it was probably pretty tame."

"Where I was?" Buffy asked, confused.

"The hell dimension you went to--the one that hell god came from?"

"I--I didn't go to Glory's dimension."

Now Faith was confused. "Well...where did you go?"

"I don't know. I can't remember exactly, but...I think I was in heaven."

"Heaven?" Faith asked in surprise.

Buffy nodded. "I was at peace. I wasn't hurting anymore, and I could finally rest."

"And then you got yanked here. Shit. No wonder you thought you were in hell. Town bein' ransacked by demons..."

Buffy shook her head. "They weren't even the worst part."

Faith waited for Buffy to explain, but she didn't continue right away. She looked away for a long time, gathering the courage to describe the details of her resurrection.

"When I first woke up, I was...in a coffin...my coffin...as in buried in my own grave."

Faith glanced down at Buffy's battered and bloody hands, realizing then the real reason Buffy's grave had been disturbed. Shit...fucking shit...she had to dig out of her own grave? "Awww...Jesus Christ, B..."

"I screamed, I panicked, I finally dug my way out, and demons were everywhere, and I hurt so bad, and then you were dead, and all I could think was... 'I'm in hell. That other place, where I was before, it wasn't heaven at all. It was just...a-a-a holding place, a waiting area until my eternity was decided. And now I'm in hell forever'..." Buffy began to weep once again.

"But you're not," Faith insisted, pulling Buffy into a hug. "You're not in hell. I swear."

Buffy put her arms around Faith and clung to her as she tried to make herself believe what the other slayer was telling her.

Not knowing what else to do, Faith just held her. She rubbed Buffy's back and caressed her hair. Most of all, she kept repeating her earlier words, trying to reassure the distraught slayer that she really wasn't in hell.

As Buffy felt her crying slowly cease, she noticed how comforting Faith's embrace was. For the first time since she had dug out of her grave, Buffy felt safe. Her pain was still there, but it wasn't as strong; it was almost bearable. When she felt Faith start to end the hug, she nearly resisted, not wanting to leave the shelter of the other slayer's arms. She didn't, though, and reluctantly allowed Faith to separate them.

"Thank you," Buffy said with a sniffle. "You're the only thing good that's happened to me since I've been back."

The statement surprised and moved Faith, but she hid it with a joke. She shot Buffy a grin and said, "You used me and the word 'good' in the same sentence. Are you trying to jinx us or something?"

That got a little bit of a smile out of Buffy.

Hoping to continue the light mood, Faith stood and said, "Look, I don't know about you, but I've got demon gunk where a person really shouldn't have demon gunk. I think a couple of hot showers are in order."

Buffy nodded.

"Come on...let's go see what we've got to work with," Faith suggested.

Buffy followed her to the bathroom.

Cut To:
Apartment -- Bathroom -- Continuous

"We got soap, we got shampoo, we got towels," Faith announced after conducting a quick search. "Looks like we're good to go."

Buffy seemed distracted and didn't reply. She just nervously glanced around the room.

"Why don't you go first?" Faith offered. "I'll see if I can round us up some clothes."

"Okay," Buffy replied, nodding but not really meeting Faith's gaze.

At that, Faith left the room and shut the door.

For the longest moment, Buffy just stood there, looking lost. Then her attention was drawn to the full-length mirror on the bathroom closet door. She walked toward it and stared at her own reflection as if she didn't recognize it.

Suddenly, she saw her reflection replaced by a golden image of herself with wings. She jumped in reaction, but within a second, her real reflection reappeared, bringing with it an overwhelming sense of loss that Buffy couldn't understand or escape. Feeling a sob developing in her chest, she turned away from the mirror. Drawing in short, halting breaths, she made herself concentrate on removing her clothing. When she was done, she reached into the bathtub and turned on the water, adjusting it until it was the right temperature. She pulled the knob to divert the water to the showerhead and then stepped inside.

She let the water hit her face first then turned to let the stream wet her hair. When the hot water hit her back, though, she gasped as the burning in her shoulder blades returned with a vengeance. Pain streaked through her body as frightening memories of herself screaming and falling assaulted her mind. This time she couldn't suppress the tears. She folded her arms against her chest, leaned against the shower wall, and let the sobs come.

Cut To:
Apartment -- Bedroom -- Same Time

Meanwhile, Faith was rummaging through the dresser and chest that paralleled the bed. She was finding many of the drawers to be surprisingly close to empty.

"She must be out of town," Faith speculated about the apartment's resident. "Looks like she's taken a lot of her stuff with her."

Despite the short supply, Faith was able to find some usable clothes for herself and Buffy--underwear, socks, sweats, and t-shirts.

"Ain't nothing fancy, but it'll do," she said as she gathered Buffy's stack and headed for the bathroom.

Cut To:
Apartment -- Bathroom -- Continuous

Faith could hear the shower running, so she gave a loud knock and then stuck her head through the door.

"Hey, I got you some clothes," she called out.

She heard a bump in the shower and the telltale signs of Buffy forcing herself to stop crying.

"Great. Thanks," she eventually heard Buffy reply.

"Are you all right?" Faith asked.

"I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute," Buffy answered.

Although she knew Buffy was anything but 'fine,' she didn't press the matter. When she heard Buffy pop the top of a bottle and begin making the sounds of shampooing, Faith called out an 'okay' and then reluctantly left the room again.

Cut To:
Apartment -- Bedroom -- Continuous

Faith was twisting her fingers in worry as she re-entered the bedroom to wait for Buffy. For a time, she just paced back and forth at the end of the bed.

God, she is really messed up.

       Shit, do you blame her?

No, it's just...I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do!

Just then, Buffy came out of the bathroom, startling Faith from her internal debate. Faith threw on a smile and turned to face Buffy.

"Hey. Feel better?" she asked.

"Yeah. Thanks," Buffy answered, only fleetingly making eye contact.

"You better have left me some hot water," Faith teased.

She immediately regretted her attempt at levity when she saw Buffy's face crease in concern. She could tell the blonde hadn't even considered the hot water issue, couldn't even remember how long she'd been in the shower. Faith instantly crossed to her and touched her shoulder.

"Don't sweat it," she told her. "I was just kidding. At this point, I'd take a polar bear plunge to get this gunk off o' me."

When she felt the blonde relax, Faith stepped back over to the bed and picked up her stack of clothes. "I'll be back in a few," she said before heading off to the bathroom.

Cut To:
Apartment -- Bathroom -- Moments Later

Not wanting to leave Buffy alone for long, Faith tore her clothes off as quickly as she could, hissing in pain only when she had to tug her t-shirt over her head and maneuver herself out of her sweat-soaked sports bra. She tried to rush through her shower, but at times she had no choice but to stop and scrub to get the last vestiges of 'demon gunk' from her skin.

When she finally got out, she wrapped a towel around herself and tiptoed to the bathroom door. She eased it open and listened. No hysterical wailing. That was good. She hoped.

She returned to the mat in front of the tub and toweled herself dry. When she was finished, she stepped over to the closet door to inspect her reflection in the full-length mirror.

"Shit...I still look like hell," she commented when she saw her bruised body. Then she just shrugged. "Well, at least it's a clean hell." She headed for the vanity and began combing out her damp hair. "Slayer healing'll take care of it. Gimme a few days, and I'll be good as new."

Cut To:
Apartment -- Bedroom -- Same Time

While Faith showered, Buffy restlessly paced beside the bed. She focused on her breathing, trying her best to keep from falling apart during the other woman's absence. She wasn't having any luck, however.

The brief moment of reprieve she'd felt at Faith's touch had disappeared, and her pain had returned. She had fought off the tears as long as she could, but now they were freely rolling down her face. She stopped in front of the chest of drawers and hugged her arms tightly around herself.

"God, it hurts so much," she whispered, "and I don't even know why..."

Cut To:
Apartment -- Bedroom -- Minutes Later

When Faith hurried into the room, she found Buffy leaning face first against the tall chest of drawers. She was crying again. Faith walked over and touched Buffy's back.

"Are you okay?" she gently asked.

Buffy turned around and shook her head. "No," she answered in a raw voice.

Faith reached out and lightly grasped Buffy's arms. "Tell me what to do," she pleaded. "Tell me how to make it better."

Buffy looked into Faith's eyes. "Just hold me."

Faith didn't wait. She opened her arms and wrapped them around Buffy. As she pulled Buffy close, Faith felt a tide of emotions well up inside her. Regret for all the hurt she had caused Buffy in the past. Sadness at the pain Buffy was experiencing now. Helplessness at being unable to ease any of Buffy's anguish. More than anything, though, Faith felt elation. Buffy was alive and in her arms--something she had only been able to dream of, to wish for. She hated herself for being so selfish, for being happy when Buffy so clearly wasn't, but she couldn't help it. God, please don't let this be a dream, she prayed.

Once she felt Faith's arms close around her, Buffy shuddered once and then sagged wearily against her fellow slayer, grateful to have the pain inside her diminish as it had done each time Faith had hugged her or touched her.

"Thank you," she whispered against Faith's chest.

Buffy could hear Faith's heart thudding like a drum and her breathing becoming short and shallow. She could feel something building between them, growing stronger the longer they touched, but she didn't know what it was, and right then she didn't have the strength to ponder it. Sleep was what she needed--deep and painless sleep.

"I'm so tired..." Buffy murmured.

"Time for you to lay down then," Faith replied before leading Buffy to the neatly made double bed. "I can take the couch," she said, pulling back the covers and guiding Buffy to sit on the edge of the mattress. "In ya go," she directed, and Buffy did as she was told. Faith tucked her in and then straightened up to stand beside the bed.

As soon as Faith was separated from her, though, Buffy once again felt the anguish return. It was as if tons of earth and stone had been piled upon her, crushing the air from her body. Yet long after her breath had left, life and consciousness had inexplicably remained, trapping her in an eternal second of agony. She didn't know why the pain eased in Faith's presence; she only knew that it did, so she reached out and captured Faith's hand.

"Stay with me?" she asked.

Faith hesitated and glanced about the room, unsure of what to do. Then she pulled her hand from Buffy's and took a step back. She gestured pointedly between them. "You do know it's me, right? Faith Lehane? The girl who killed people, tried to frame you for murder, steal your boyfriend, your body...?"

"I remember," Buffy said. Then she held out her hand again. "Please?"

Seeing the pain in those green eyes, Faith couldn't deny the request. She stepped forward and took Buffy's hand, joining her under the covers of the bed. Once Buffy had snuggled into place against her, Faith encircled her with her arms and held her close. As she felt Buffy relax into sleep, Faith closed her eyes and repeated her earlier prayer, Please let this be real. Then Faith too gave herself over to sleep.

Cut To:
Apartment -- Bedroom -- Moments Later

Invisible to human eyes in their ethereal forms, Joyce and Ozzie watched the two slayers sleeping peacefully.

Joyce heaved a sigh of relief and smiled. "We did it."

Ozzie nodded his head but then said solemnly, "It's not over yet. The other side is just going to renew its efforts to keep Buffy and Faith apart."

"We'll just have to make sure that doesn't happen," Joyce said in a determined voice.

Suddenly, the room was filled with a pulsing light and the booming clang of what must have been an enormous gong. The otherworldly sound went unnoticed by the resting slayers. Only the two heavenly beings were privy to the deep resonating note. They cast nervous glances at each other before gazing upwards.

"Oh, fudge cookies," Joyce grumbled before she and Osiris were yanked back to heaven by the Powers-That-Be.
 

PART 09

Fade In:
Heaven -- Palace of the Powers-That-Be -- Night

As they had been during Buffy's visit, the Powers-That-Be were in human form, sitting upon their seven thrones. Joyce and Ozzie stood before them, keeping their eyes appropriately downcast, as the gray-haired senior member of the Powers-That-Be angrily lectured them.

"There are rules in place, and they are there for a reason!" he barked. "They cannot be broken on a whim!"

Joyce's head shot up. "A whim?!!" she objected irately.

Ozzie reached out and placed an arm in front of Joyce to prevent her from stepping forward. Then he turned his gaze toward the Powers. "Well, technically we didn't break the rules, we just--"

"Silence!" came the booming reply. The gray-haired man calmed himself then cast a disapproving gaze at Ozzie. "I shouldn't be surprised by her actions, but you Osiris, you know better."

"Yes, my lord..." Ozzie meekly stated.

Joyce gave her partner a scowl before turning back to the Powers. "You should be thanking us. We acted when you wouldn't! Buffy and Faith are going to be needed. For what, I don't know, but it's big enough that the other side has done everything in its power to keep them apart, and--"

With a wave of the Senior Power's hand, Joyce found her voice suddenly gone. Her mouth was still moving, but no sound was emerging from it. She grasped her throat in surprise.

The bearded man at the left end of the row of thrones, the one who had earlier objected to Buffy's placement with the angelic guardians instead of the warriors, leaned over to the female beside him. "Now I see where Buffy gets her fire," he said with a grin.

"Be quiet, Laran," she chastised without turning her head.

Meanwhile, the Senior Power stood up from his throne. "I believe it would behoove the two of you to spend some time pondering the error of your ways..."

Ozzie's eyes grew wide. "No...please..."

Joyce looked at Ozzie with concern, not knowing what was causing the dread in his eyes.

"Perhaps, after a short timeout, you'll reconsider the necessity of your actions."

He clapped his hands together. There was a crack of thunder followed by a flash of light; then Ozzie and Joyce were instantly transported to another location.

Cut To:
Purgatory -- The Timeout Room -- Seconds Later

Once they had materialized in the new place, Joyce found that her voice had returned. "Oh!" she said, a bit startled by the abrupt relocation. She seemed relieved to be able to speak again, however. When she heard Ozzie make an unhappy sound beside her, she turned to him.

"Oh God...I hate this place..." he groaned before hurrying to a chair and sitting down. He hunkered down as if he were trying to make himself as inconspicuous as possible.

Confused, Joyce took the opportunity to gaze around the room. The walls were a dingy off-white, and the ceiling had equally dingy tiles around buzzing, blinking fluorescent lights. The room contained multiple groupings of chairs, end tables, and coffee tables; all available surfaces were covered with grimy magazines clearly out of date. An opening with a sliding glass window could be seen on the far wall, but nothing was visible beyond it. Several large TVs were in place throughout the room, but they were stuck on annoying infomercials. In the areas where there were no televisions, speakers blared mind-numbing elevator music.

The room did have other occupants; several of them shot desperate, needy glances in Joyce's direction. She immediately rushed to sit next to Ozzie.

"What is this place?" she whispered urgently.

"The waiting room from hell," Ozzie replied with disgust. "Actually, the waiting room from purgatory, but it might as well be hell." When one of the other occupants started shuffling towards them, he hissed under his breath, "Don't make eye contact, don't make--" Damn it, too late.

A neurotic looking woman wearing a tattered sweater sat down beside Joyce and asked, "Have you seen my cats?"

"Hell no she ain't seen your stupid cats!" complained a pudgy man puffing away on a nauseating cigar. He sat right across from Joyce and blew smoke towards her.

Ozzie tried to get up and move but found his way blocked by a young mother with two bawling children, one toddler and one infant. She handed the crying baby to the towering man. "Do you mind? I need to take Jesse to the little boys' room." Before he could stop her, she rushed away, toddler in tow.

Ozzie held the squalling infant out away from himself, then slowly turned around to glare at Joyce, who was getting an earful of cat stories and a nose full of cigar smoke. "This is all your fault," he griped as he sat down and began going through the motions of calming the baby that he knew would never stop crying.

"I can't just sit around here doing nothing! I need to get back to Buffy!" Joyce exclaimed. "How do we get out of here?"

"We don't," Ozzie replied. "Not until the Powers decide to let us out."

Joyce stared at Ozzie in shock for a moment, then hung her head, closed her eyes, and covered her face with her hands in an attempt to drown out the noise. She jumped when she felt a hand on her arm. When she looked up, the cigar-smoking man was right in front of her, grinning.

"Did I ever tell you about my third wife's ugly toe? Ugliest thing you ever saw! The toe, not the wife. Course, I can't say that about my current wife..."

As the man let out a string of guffaws at his own joke, Joyce groaned and slumped against her chair, resigned to her fate.

Fade To:
Sunnydale -- Apartment -- Bedroom -- Before Sunrise

It was about an hour before sunrise when Faith awakened from sleep. She blinked her eyes several times and drew in a deep breath. When she felt a warm body readjust itself against hers and drape an arm across her stomach, she instantly froze. It took a few seconds for her brain to remind her of where she was, how she had gotten there, and who she was with.

She exhaled in tiny, tightly controlled breaths before looking down at the person who was snuggled against her right shoulder. When she saw that it was Buffy, she relaxed and let the rest of her breath out.

Thank God, she thought to herself in relief. It wasn't just a dream.

She pulled Buffy closer and leaned her cheek against the top of the blonde's head. She could feel a lump forming in her throat and tears filling her eyes, but she didn't fight the reaction. It felt too good to have Buffy alive again and to be holding her in her arms.

Unfortunately, her mind didn't allow her to enjoy the embrace for long.

Since when are you a cuddler? it taunted.

          Since now, Faith grumbled back.

Well, don't get attached. You know this won't last.

          I'm not.

She's only with you because she was traumatized and needed someone and you were the only one available.

          I know already! Now shut up.

After quelling her inner nag, she indulged in a few more moments of snuggling before forcing herself to get out of bed. Slowly but surely, she extricated herself from Buffy's embrace without waking her.

Once she had slid out of the bed, Faith stood up and watched the blonde carefully. When she was sure that Buffy had remained asleep, she stepped to the large window behind the head of the bed and peeked through the blinds. Although it was completely dark outside, she could tell that it was close to sunrise.

Better go take a look outside, she thought. But first, the bathroom.

Cut To:
Apartment -- Bathroom -- Moments Later

After taking care of business, Faith stood in front of the full-length mirror and examined her reflection.

"Still look like I got dragged behind a car and then dropped off a mountain, but I feel better." She went through a few stretches but stopped when she felt a sharp pain in her left side. "Still pretty sore, though," she said, wincing.

She put her boots on and pulled her wallet from the jeans she had taken off the night before. When she picked up her leather jacket, she immediately grimaced at the smell and held the jacket away from herself.

"Damn demon guts...ruined my new jacket," she complained.

She rummaged through the jacket's pockets and retrieved a small dagger, her Lucky Strike cigarettes and lighter, the strip of photo booth pictures of herself and Buffy, and the keys she had taken from Razor, the leader of the Hellions. She gave the keys a thoughtful glance then tucked her belongings into the pockets of her borrowed pants.

Cut To:
Apartment -- Bedroom -- Continuous

After she came out of the bathroom, she took a quick look at Buffy before quietly easing into the bedroom's walk-in closet. She hunted through the apartment owner's clothes until she found a jacket she liked. It was a heavy but well-worn blue jean jacket. She transferred her cigarettes, lighter, and photo to the right breast pocket, her wallet and dagger to the inner pocket, and Razor's keys to the regular left pocket.

After leaving the closet, she once again checked to see if Buffy was still sleeping. When she saw that she was, she glanced around the room, looking for something to write with. She spied a notepad and pen on the nightstand. Taking them up, she wrote in large letters:

B,
Went to scout. Be right back.
Stay Here.
F

After leaving the notepad and pen on the nightstand, Faith left the bedroom and headed for the front door.

Cut To:
Outside The Apartment -- Moments Later

Once she had closed the outer door at the bottom of the stairs, she immediately scanned up and down the entire length of the dark alley. Seeing and hearing nothing of a dangerous nature, she pulled out a cigarette and lit it. She took a deep drag and let it out. Then she cautiously moved up the alley toward Main Street.

Cut To:
Main Street -- Continuous

As Faith eased around the corner, she noticed that the most of the Hellions' bodies were gone. The destruction caused by the marauding demons, however, was still there. The front windows of stores were crashed in, inventory was either missing or destroyed, broken glass and other garbage littered the sidewalks. The metal trash barrels had, at least, burned down to mere smoldering.

Ahead of her, in front of the Sun cinema, though, she could see four hooded figures heaving something into a large black van. She tossed her cigarette to the ground and headed their way.

As she got closer to the black van, she realized that the hooded figures were the Shrnkar--demonic scavengers who fed upon the demon dead. Slayers often had unwritten alliances with the Shrnkar. In exchange for cleaning up the slayer's 'dirty work,' the Shrnkar were allowed to live. At the moment, they were in the process of loading up the van with the last of the dead Hellions. When Faith walked right up to them, they drew back and hissed at her.

"Hey," she called out to them, "you seen any live ones o' these out and about?"

"The living...do not conccccern ussss, SSSSSlayer..." one of the scavengers answered.

"Yeah, but ya got eyes, don't ya?" Faith countered.

The Shrnkar looked at each other a moment; then another one of the scavengers said, "We ssssaw a few leave hourssss ago. The ressssst belong to ussss."

"Hey, they're all yours," Faith said as she started to walk away. "And thanks."

She only got hisses in return, but she didn't care. Right now, she was on cloud nine. She had kicked some major demon ass last night, and it sounded like the stragglers had hightailed it out of town. Most importantly, though, Buffy was back.

"And she hasn't even tried to kill me," Faith said, grinning to herself. "All I need now is a little icing on the cake."

She headed toward the Hellions' motorcycles that were still parked a few yards away. When she reached them, she pulled Razor's key chain out of her jacket pocket. She studied the key chain and then walked down the line of bikes, looking for the one that the keys might fit. At the end of the row, she found it. The symbol on the medallion matched the image on the bike's gas tank. She swung her leg over the bike and sat down. She inserted the key and switched it into the 'on' position; then she punched the ignition button. As the engine roared to life, she turned the gas handle and revved it up even more.

"Sweet!" she said. 

After engaging the clutch and clicking the bike into gear, she drove it down the block and into the alley beside the furniture store. As she made the turn, she killed the engine and coasted silently the rest of the way to the apartment. She parked the bike by the bottom door, locked it, and tucked the keys in her pocket. Then she went up the stairs to the apartment, a smile still on her face.

Cut To:
Apartment -- Kitchen -- Continuous

Faith let herself back into the apartment and crept to the bedroom. When she looked inside, Buffy was still asleep, so she quietly shut the door and headed back into the dining area at the end of the kitchen. She pulled a calling card from her wallet and picked up the handset from the wall-mounted phone, intending to call her watcher, Dr. Victoria Raine. She hesitated before punching in the numbers, though.

What am I gonna say? she thought while glancing down the hallway toward the bedroom. I can't tell her Buffy's back. Not yet. B's a total basket case--no way she can handle a Watchers Council Inquisition right now. After considering the matter a moment longer, she decided, Ah, I'll give it a day or two, then go from there.

Satisfied with that scenario, Faith turned back to the phone and punched in the numbers on the calling card Dr. Raine had given her. After several rings, the phone was finally picked up by a tired-sounding Dr. Raine.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Doc."

"Faith, thank goodness! I was beginning to get quite worried. Where are you?"

"I'm in Sunnydale. Sorry I didn't call sooner. Things have been kinda crazy since I got here."

"What happened?"

"Biker gang called the Hellions apparently got word that the slayer was dead. They were tearin' the town apart when I got here. They even torched the bus I was in. I spent half the night fightin' 'em."

"Dear lord!" Dr. Raine exclaimed. "Well, clearly you were victorious, else you'd not be calling."

"Clearly."

"Were you hurt?"

"Got the crap beat outta me, but other'n that I'm fine."

"My word, you certainly experienced a trial by fire upon your return, didn't you?"

"Yeah, literally," Faith replied.

"How did the others react to your arrival?"

"Haven't seen 'em yet. Guess I'll drop in on 'em later today." Woo-hoo, can't wait for that joyous reunion, she thought sarcastically to herself.

"Get some rest first," Dr. Raine instructed. "I want daily calls from you until I arrive, all right?"

"Yes ma'am," the slayer dutifully replied.

Faith ended the call and hung up the phone. For a moment she considered calling back and telling her watcher everything, but in the end, she decided against it. It wasn't that she didn't trust Dr. Raine; she just thought it would be better for Buffy to have some time to adjust. It wouldn't hurt to wait a few days before making her watcher rush down to Sunnydale.

She looked back down the hallway toward the bedroom, where her fellow slayer was sleeping. She shook her head, still trying to wrap her mind around the totally improbable yet completely undeniable reality of Buffy's presence.

How did you get here? Who brought you here? Did the Powers-That-Be send you back like they did Angel?

When an amusing explanation popped in her mind, Faith ducked her head and smirked to herself.

You probably heard the Council was bringing me back, didn't you? 'They're putting Faith in charge? Over my dead body! Send me back now before she destroys Sunnydale!'

Faith's chuckling ended abruptly when she heard Buffy scream as if she had awakened from a horrible nightmare. Faith flew down the hallway and into the bedroom.

Cut To:
Apartment -- Bedroom -- Continuous

By the time Faith rushed to her side, Buffy was frantically calling out the dark slayer's name and reaching for her.

"Hey, it's okay," Faith said as she grasped Buffy's arms and looked her in the eyes. "It's okay...it was just a dream..."

Buffy was still in a panic, her words tumbling out between breaths. "I-I-I was falling...I kept falling...and it hurt...so bad...then I hit the ground...o-o-or something...and I woke up, but you weren't here...you weren't here..."

When Buffy began crying in earnest, Faith pulled her into a hug and held her. "It's okay, it's okay...I'm right here..."

In the past, Faith had never been into all that touchy-feely stuff; in fact, she would have been downright repelled by it. But here with Buffy, she didn't seem to mind it, couldn't seem to help herself from falling right into it. And stranger still, Buffy seemed to want it, to need it from her somehow.

This is so fuckin' weird, Faith thought to herself. But it's a good kind of weird, she had to admit.

Buffy, on the other hand, didn't have room in her head for any kind of conscious debate on the matter. Right then, she only knew what she felt, and that was relief. With Faith's embrace, Buffy's feelings of terror and pain had receded and had been replaced with safety and comfort. Behind all of that, though, was a profound sense of rightness--that where she was, here in Faith's arms, was exactly where she needed to be. The thought of losing her filled Buffy with despair.

Frowning in worry, she pulled back so that she could look at Faith. She lifted her hand and gently touched the other woman's face. "I was so afraid I'd lost you again..."

When their eyes met, the two slayers locked into an intense stare, just as they had the night before. Even though their hearts were thundering in their chests, they scarcely allowed themselves to breathe. They stayed that way for what seemed like an eternity of seconds before Faith finally swallowed hard and flashed Buffy a teasing grin.

"You can't get rid o' me," she joked as she stood up beside the bed. "I'm like a bad penny...I just keep comin' back."

When Buffy's face lit up with an actual smile, Faith tilted her head toward the bedroom door. "Come on, let's raid the kitchen. I'm starving!"

"Okay," Buffy said with a nod. "Let me go to the bathroom, and I'll meet you there."

"Deal," Faith said.

Cut To:
Apartment -- Kitchen -- Moments Later

As soon as Faith got into the kitchen, she anxiously began pacing the floor.

"What the hell is goin' on?" she whispered as she made a quick glance toward the hallway. "Something that probably shouldn't be," she added with a shake of her head.

Then she stopped pacing and consciously slowed her breathing. "Don't think about it," she told herself. "Just...think about something a lot less complicated...like food."

She turned and headed for the refrigerator.

Cut To:
Apartment -- Bathroom -- Same Time

While Faith worked in the kitchen, Buffy took her time in the bathroom. After a visit to the toilet, she gripped the edges of the vanity, trying to rein in her rapidly changing emotions.

Her pulse was still racing from the intense embrace she had shared with Faith, and she felt a strong need to be with her or at the very least to be near her. The sense of unbearable loss that she had experienced the night before remained deep within her, although it had begun to dull somewhat. She looked up and frowned at her reflection in the mirror above the sink.

Who are you? she asked herself.

She didn't know the answer to that question. Not fully, anyway. She took a deep breath and forced herself to focus on her past, on her life before she died. Who she was then had to be who she was now. Right? But who was she back then?

Daughter. Student. Slayer. Friend. Lover. Sister. Sacrifice.

Memories, both good and bad, flashed through her mind with each role she recalled. The memories felt so far away, though...almost as if they belonged to someone else's life.

It had been months since she had died. She knew she should be wondering where her sister and friends were and how they were doing, but all she seemed to feel for them was a kind of distant numbness. The wrongness of that made her sad, and she felt her eyes well up with tears.

She wiped the tears away and turned on the faucet in the sink. When she went to splash some water on her face, she noticed the bruises and abrasions that had been left on her hands by her escape from her coffin. In an instant, she was reliving the horror of digging herself out of her own grave.

"Stop it!" she scolded as she closed her eyes and willed the images from her mind. "You've got to pull yourself together and try to act normal!"

She hated feeling so out of control, she hated being the shell of the person she remembered. She ran her hands through her hair in an effort to calm herself. Then she opened her eyes and huffed at her own thoughts.

"None of this is normal," she mumbled as she turned the water off and dried her shaking hands. "But since when was my life ever normal? Don't know why I'd expect my new one to be any different."

After letting out a weary but determined sigh, she left the bathroom.

Cut To:
Apartment -- Kitchen -- Seconds Later

When Buffy got to the kitchen, she did a double-take when she found Faith making scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast.

"You're cooking," Buffy said with obvious incredulity.

"You really do remember me," Faith replied with a grin. Then she shrugged and said, "Did a short stint in the prison kitchen. Ain't sayin' I'm a gourmet or nothing, but I can do some basics."

Buffy paused a moment and then said, "Speaking of short stints..."

Faith glanced at her fellow slayer. She expected to find judgment in her eyes, but she found only curiosity. She finished filling their two plates with food and then picked them up. "I think we better sit down for this one," she said, gesturing toward the small table at the end of the kitchen. "Might take a while."

Buffy walked to the table and sat down. Once Faith had set the plates next to the silverware and the bottles of juice that she had already laid out, she also sat down.

"You're wondering why I'm not still in prison, right?" Faith asked before digging into her eggs and bacon.

Buffy nodded as she took a bite out of her toast. She hadn't thought she was hungry, but once she started eating, she regained her appetite, and the two slayers began eating heartily as they talked.

"After you died, the Council contacted me and offered to get me out of prison if I'd resume my slayer duties here in Sunnydale. I said yes, obviously." She waved her hands indicating where she was.

"How long have you been here?"

Faith looked up at the clock on the wall. "Uhhh...about six hours."

"What?" Buffy exclaimed in surprise. "You just got here last night?"

"Yep. Just in time for the biker dudes from hell," Faith said ruefully.

Buffy glanced away to think. She and Faith had come back to Sunnydale on the very same night? At almost the exact same time? What the heck did that mean?

"At first I didn't want to."

"Huh?" Buffy said, her attention snapping back to Faith. She had lost track of the conversation due to her own thoughts. "Sorry. Mental tangent."

"At first I didn't want to take the Council's offer," Faith repeated.

"Didn't miss the slayer life, huh?" Buffy asked.

"No, I missed it all right. I just didn't feel like I deserved it. I was in prison for a reason. I didn't deserve to be free."

Buffy didn't say it aloud, but she couldn't help thinking how different Faith was. Before, Faith had done everything she could to avoid taking responsibility for her actions. Now, she was the exact opposite.

"Plus, I wasn't sure if I could trust the Council," Faith continued. "I mean, last time I saw 'em, they were trying to put a bullet in my head. But…you were gone…and I was 'it'. The one and only 'one girl in all the world'."

Buffy forced a chuckle. "I bet you were happy about that." When she looked over at Faith, though, she saw a very unhappy expression.

"You were dead, B. How was I supposed to be happy about that?"

"Sorry. I just thought that--I mean, you wanted me dead before, and the last time we met, I was--" Buffy gathered her thoughts a second and then calmly pronounced, "I was a cold-hearted, self-righteous bitch."

Faith went into an instant coughing fit as she nearly choked on her toast. She had not expected those words to come out of Buffy's mouth. Like ever.

At Faith's reaction, Buffy said somewhat sheepishly, "Well, I was."

Faith downed the rest of her juice to get her voice back. "Hey, you had a right to be, okay? I screwed you over something good." She shook her head before adding, "Still don't know why you saved my life that night. You coulda just let those Council goons kill me."

"No, I-I-I couldn't..." Buffy said, frowning in confusion. She could see the 'why not' question in Faith's eyes, but she didn't have a clear answer to it, so she simply repeated herself, "I just...couldn't."

An awkward lull entered the conversation, and both slayers started fidgeting. Buffy dropped her gaze to her uneaten food, using her fork to push the remaining eggs around on her plate. Faith picked at the plastic label on her empty bottle of juice, trying to get up the courage to say what she really wanted to say. Finally, Faith raised her head and broke the silence.

"Look, I know I'm probably gonna get that 'death beating' you promised me in L.A., but I gotta say it, at least this once...I'm sorry." She poured all of her heart into those two words, hoping that Buffy could see that she meant them. Then she hung her head again and went on. "Ever since I left here, that's all I've wanted to do--to apologize to you, to somehow try to make things right even though I know I never can. When you died, I thought I'd lost my chance. I thought I'd never see you again, that I'd never get the chance to tell you..."

Faith stopped when she felt Buffy reach across the table and take her hand. She looked up and met her gaze.

"I'm sorry, too," Buffy told her with the same heart-felt sincerity.

The two slayers stared intently at each other for a long moment before exchanging small smiles. Then they turned their attention back to their food.

"I know you haven't been here long," Buffy said after taking a sip of juice, "but do you know what happened after I died? I-I-Is Dawn okay? Is everybody okay?"

"Everybody's fine," Faith assured her. "I don't know how the battle and the aftermath went down exactly, I just know that everybody's okay. Dawn's still at your house. Willow and Tara moved in to take care of her. Giles went home to England, though. Hey, did you know they have a robot you? I think they call it the Buffybot?"

Buffy flushed in embarrassment. "Ahhh, yeah."

"So, how'd that happen?" Faith asked when Buffy didn't elaborate.

"Long, long story..." Buffy replied, clearly trying to avoid answering.

Faith smirked but chose not to press her advantage at that particular moment. She rose from her chair and picked up her empty plate. "Well, some day you're gonna tell it to me," she informed her before heading for the sink.

"Oh, I am, am I?" Buffy objected as she too stood and carried her plate into the kitchen.

"If you don't, I'll just get it from your friends, and then you won't be able to censor it," Faith shot back as Buffy joined her at the sink.

Buffy narrowed her eyes in a mock glare, but she didn't have a comeback for Faith's threat. Instead, she just hip-bumped Faith away from the sink. "I'll wash, you dry."

Faith gave her an 'excuse me' look but then just picked up the kitchen towel. "Still bossy," she grumbled.

"Still whiny," Buffy countered as she handed over the first washed and rinsed plate.

They shared a playful grin as they continued dish duty.

Cut To:
Apartment -- Kitchen -- A Short Time Later

As Faith put away the last of the dishes, Buffy leaned against the counter, a worried look on her face.

"I guess I should go home and see everybody," Buffy said but without the least bit of enthusiasm.

"Yeah, you probably should," Faith agreed. "They need to know you're here. Especially Dawn. Kid's gonna be ecstatic that you're back. The others too. They're gonna be freakin' out, but in a totally good way."

"Yeah."

When Faith noticed Buffy's apprehension, she stepped closer and asked, "What's up? Why aren't you happy about going home?"

"I don't know," Buffy said in a strained voice. "I think...I think I came back wrong."

"What?! No way. Why would you even think that?"

"I should be worried about my sister a-a-and my friends, about what happened to them after I died...I should be thrilled about seeing them again, about being back with them...but I'm not." She shot a pleading glance at Faith. "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you," Faith insisted as she lightly grasped Buffy's arms. "You just got yanked out of heaven and dumped back on the hellmouth in the suckiest resurrection ever. It's gonna take some time to adjust, to feel normal again. They'll get that."

"I guess so," Buffy replied as Faith released her.

"Plus, maybe Red can figure out the whole 'back from the dead' thing for ya."

Buffy nodded, seemingly taking a measure of comfort from that idea.

"If she can't figure it out," Faith added, "we can turn it over to the Doc when she gets here."

"The Doc?"

"Dr. Raine...my new watcher. She'll be here in about a week."

"She's not evil, is she?" Buffy had to ask.

"No, but she has an evil brother." When Buffy shot her a puzzled look, Faith explained. "Her brother's Quentin Travers."

"Are you sure she's not evil? It could run in the family."

"I’m sure. She's cool. Probably means she's adopted." Faith gave Buffy a nudge. "Come on, let's get you in a jacket and some shoes so we can head over to your house."

Cut To:
Outside The Apartment -- Minutes Later

Buffy was a little wary as they stepped outside into the early morning light. Her eyes darted nervously about as if she expected demons to descend upon them at any moment.

"It's okay," Faith assured her. "I checked things out this morning before you woke up. The Hellions are either dead or long gone." She pointed out her new bike. "You wanna ride?"

Buffy's eyes widened when she recognized the bike as one of the Hellions' motorcycles. She shot Faith a questioning glance.

"Hey, no sense lettin' somebody else have it," Faith said in defense. "I won it fair and square, spoils o' war and all that."

"Yes. Yes, you did," Buffy said, smiling briefly. Then she quickly sobered. "I-I-I think I'd rather walk...i-i-if that's okay. Maybe clear my head a little before we get there."

"Sure, no prob," Faith replied.

At that, the two slayers began a slow walk through town. When they reached a certain intersection, though, Buffy stopped and looked down the opposite street. Faith moved to look at what had caught Buffy's attention. In the distance she saw a tall metal tower that clearly didn't belong in its current setting.

"What the hell is that?"

Buffy didn't answer; she just turned and headed in that direction.

Cut To:
Glory's Tower -- Moments Later

As Buffy walked purposefully through the abandoned construction site, Faith just followed along, unsure of where they were going or why. She was even more confused when Buffy stopped right in front of a pallet of bricks at the base of the tower.

"What is this place?" Faith asked.

"This is where I died."

Faith closed her eyes in a wince. "Awww, shit, Buffy..." When she opened her eyes and saw the blonde's gaze move upwards, she moved closer and looked up. "What happened?" she gently asked. "Doc didn't tell me much."

"Glory had Dawn up there, at the very top. She was going to use her to open a doorway to the hell dimension she came from, but I got there too late. The ritual had already started, and the portal was opening right below us, and the only way to stop it was for one of us to die. I couldn't let Dawn die. So I jumped into the portal..."

"Jesus, B..."

"...the fall seemed to last forever...and I felt like I was being ripped apart...and then..."

When Buffy didn't go on, Faith asked, "Is that what you were dreaming about this morning?"

"I...I don't know..." Buffy said, dropping her gaze to the pallet of bricks. She wanted to say, 'Yes, it must've been,' but something inside her told her that she hadn't been dreaming about that at all.

Neither slayer said anything for a long time. They just stared in silence at the place where Buffy had breathed her last. After a while, Faith finally spoke up.

"I felt it when you died," she softly admitted.

Buffy turned surprised eyes in Faith's direction. "Really?"

Faith nodded then met her gaze. "Worst day of my life. Felt like a part o' me died with you."

Buffy was touched and gave her a warm smile, which Faith returned.

Without another word, they turned their backs on the tower and made their way out of the construction site.
 

A/N: I've stolen and slightly modified a behind-the-scenes flashback from another story of mine ("The Buffy Tapes"). I consider this flashback scene to be part of the backstory for "Follow Your Heart." I hated having to recycle a piece of a previous story, but I just love this scene so much, and it really fits well here. Besides Lilly insisted. ;)

Fade In:
Revello Drive -- Early Morning

When they got to the corner of the Summers yard, Buffy froze on the sidewalk and eyed her former house with trepidation.

"I-I-I don't think I can do this..." she whispered.

Faith stepped in between Buffy and the house and touched the slayer's arm. "You want me to go in first and break the news and make 'em calm down?"

Buffy glanced around nervously as if torn between being left alone and sending Faith inside.

"I'll make it quick," Faith promised.

After a moment of indecision, Buffy finally nodded.

"Be right back," Faith said before turning around and heading for the house.

Buffy wrung her hands as she watched Faith turn onto the sidewalk that led to the Summers home. As Faith moved further and further away from her, she felt her sense of dread and worry increase with each step. Buffy tightened her hands into fists and turned away, forcing herself to calm down.

Cut To:
Summers Home -- Moments Later

Faith walked up to the front door, glanced back at Buffy for a second, took a deep breath, then rang the bell. When the door was opened, she started to speak but was cut off.

"Faith! Thank god you're here!" Dawn exclaimed before rolling her eyes in disgust. "I can't believe I'm saying it, but…thank god you're here!" She grabbed Faith's arm and dragged the slayer into the house. "We've got biker demons all over the place and--" She stopped to yell toward the kitchen, "Willow! Tara! Faith's here!" When she turned back, she scrunched up her nose at the sight of Faith's battered face. "Jeez, what happened to you?"

"Big showdown with the biker demons you mentioned," Faith answered. "You don't have to worry about them anymore."

Dawn turned and started to yell again, "Willow! Tara! Faith's--"

"--here. Heard ya the first time," Willow finished as she and Tara walked into the living room. The redhead shot a haughty glance at the dark slayer. "Faith," she greeted in an icy tone.

"Willow," Faith replied, snarkily matching her coolness.

When Faith turned to her, Tara gave a quick smile and said, "I'm Tara."

"Yeah, I remember," Faith noted.

"Oh! Right," Tara said, remembering that Faith had been in Buffy's body at the time.

"Faith took care of the biker demons," Dawn announced.

A look of relief came over the witches' faces, but then Willow stiffened in defensiveness.

"We would've dealt with them--" she started to explain.

"--but we were kinda wiped out after--" Tara added without thinking.

"Like I said," Willow cut her off, "we would've dealt with them."

"Are we gonna have a Scoobies meeting?" Dawn asked. "Should I wake up Xander and Anya?"

"Ummm, yeah, sure," Willow answered. "They're probably gonna want to go home after breakfast anyway."

As Dawn rushed up the stairs, Faith, Willow, and Tara stood fidgeting in the awkward quiet until Willow turned and headed into the dining room. Tara and Faith followed. While Willow went about moving her laptop from the end of the table to the buffet, Tara finally broke the silence.

"So...how was your trip from, ummm…?"

"The pen?" Faith prompted.

Tara blushed in embarrassment at her lame question. "Yeah."

"It was fine till I got here," Faith answered. "Biker demons trashed the bus--while me and everybody else was still in it."

Tara frowned in concern, but Willow just gave a sigh of disinterest. Then the three heard footsteps and voices as Dawn returned with Xander and Anya.

"Next time we're going home no matter how many demons there are," Anya griped. "That bed is not guest-friendly."

Xander ignored his girlfriend's complaining as they entered the dining room. When his gaze met Faith's, he said, "Kinda early for you, isn't it?"

"Yeah, well, things change," Faith replied, not knowing what else to say.

After another tense moment, Willow gestured toward the table. "Come on, let's sit down and get this over with." Once they were all seated, she started her spiel. "Okay, Faith, we know the Council's all gung-ho about you being here, but--"

Thinking of Buffy waiting outside, Faith impatiently interrupted. "Look, spare me the lecture, okay? I got something important to tell ya, but it's gonna sound crazy, so hear me out." She took a deep breath and then said, "Buffy's alive."

"What?" Dawn asked. Her expression was surprised, but there was hope in her eyes.

"Buffy's alive," Faith repeated. "I've seen her."

Xander shook his head in confusion. He looked at Anya and then Tara before settling on Willow. "But I thought--"

Willow waved her hand dismissively. "She just saw Buffybot. That's all."

Xander and Dawn both slumped in disappointment.

"No, this wasn't your little RoboSlayer," Faith insisted. "Robots don't bleed. This was Buffy, in the flesh."

Willow's face instantly lit up. "I-I-It worked! I knew it was working!" She turned to Tara and grasped her hand. "I felt the energies shift, right at the last second. But then the urn was destroyed and..."

As Willow, Tara, and Xander chattered on in excitement, Dawn just sat there in shock. Anya, however, kept a skeptical eye on Faith, sensing that there was more to the story.

"You? You brought Buffy back?" Faith demanded.

"Me, Tara, and Anya," Willow proudly answered. "We got interrupted by those biker demons, though, so we didn't think it worked."

"Buffy's alive? Where is she?" Dawn interjected when she was finally able to speak. Then she turned on Willow and the others, "And why didn't you tell me what you were doing?!!"

The Scoobies went into another loud simultaneous babble-fest until Faith suddenly stood up and slapped her hand onto the table, startling them into silence.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?!!" she growled at them.

"Oh no…she came back wrong, didn't she?" Anya asked. "Does she look like a Picasso painting?"

"Of course she didn't come back wrong!" Xander scolded Anya. Then he quickly turned to Faith for confirmation. "Did she?"

"Well, you tell me," the slayer accused sarcastically. "She was resting in peace in heaven, got ripped outta there and dropped into her own coffin six feet under, had to claw her way out of her own grave into a Sunnydale overrun by rampaging biker demons, and no one was there to help her!!! What do you think?!!"

She glared at the group, and they all looked away in shame. She let out a calming breath before sitting back down.

"By the time I found her, she was so traumatized she thought she was in hell."

Tara tilted her head to the side. "But…she was in hell. Before, I mean. Wasn't she? We thought--"

"I know," Faith said. "We all thought it. But she wasn't. She was someplace nice. Like heaven."

A sickened look of horror came over the Scoobies' faces.

"Oh god…" Willow whispered, tears filling her eyes.

"We didn't know, we didn't know…" Xander said.

For a long moment, no one said a word. Each person stared at the surface of the table trying to come to terms with the revelation. Eventually, Dawn spoke up.

"Where's Buffy?" she asked in a plaintive voice. "I wanna see her."

"I'll go get her," Faith said as she rose to her feet again. "But when she comes in, give her some space, okay? Don't mob her all at once."

Faith left the room and headed for the front door.

Cut To:
Revello Drive -- Moments Later

At the corner of the front yard, Buffy paced the sidewalk. At Faith's absence, all of her pain had returned and was now compounded by new anxieties racing through her mind.

What's taking so long? she wondered.

Maybe they're freaking out. Like in a bad way.

Or maybe they don't believe her. It is Faith, after all. Maybe they think she's making it up.

Or maybe--

Buffy's inner worrying was cut off when she heard the front door open. She turned to see Faith coming down the steps. She waited anxiously as the brunette headed her way.

"How did they take it?" Buffy asked when the dark slayer reached her.

"Not like I expected, that's for sure."

"W-W-What do you mean?"

Faith ran a hand through her hair and then met Buffy's eyes. "I don't know how to tell ya this, B, so I'm just gonna say it flat out...They're the ones who brought you back."

"What?" Buffy asked in shock.

"Willow and Tara and Xander's girlfriend…they did the spell that brought you back."

Buffy couldn't utter a word. My friends did this? she thought. Brought me back to a life where everything hurts?

"They didn't know you were heaven. They thought you went to that hellgod's dimension. They thought they were saving you."

Buffy's expression remained one of turmoil. Faith couldn't stand to see her fellow slayer in such anguish, so she tried to put a positive spin on things.

"They're glad you're back, though," she told her with a smile. "They missed you. They love you."

For a long moment, Buffy said nothing. She just stood there looking shell-shocked. Eventually, Faith felt the need to prompt her.

"They're waiting for you. Do you still want to see 'em?"

Buffy didn't answer. She just numbly began moving toward the house. Not knowing what else to do, Faith followed alongside of her.

Cut To:
Summers Home -- Moments Later

When they reached the porch, Faith moved ahead of Buffy and opened the door. After walking inside, she stepped to the left to allow Buffy to enter. Then she shut the door behind them.

The Scoobies were clustered at the base of the stairs, clinging to each other, frozen to the spot by Faith's earlier words. One glance at Buffy confirmed everything Faith had told them--from the slayer's battered hands to the traumatized, haunted look in her eyes.

Dawn was the first to break free from the group and step forward. She softly spoke her sister's name, cautiously moved closer, then engaged in a tentative hug. "I'm so glad you're home," she said.

Buffy mechanically returned the embrace.

Willow came forward with Xander. "We're so sorry," she said, crying. "We didn't know…"

Even Anya seemed upset as she and Tara joined the group. Buffy just nodded in response and endured the hugs and touches.

"We, um, we were just getting ready to have breakfast," Tara offered. "Do you maybe want something...?"

"No," Buffy replied flatly. "Thanks. I'm not hungry. But you can go ahead."

As the Scoobies murmured more apologies and made small talk about breakfast, they slowly but surely led Buffy into the dining room and away from Faith, as if the other slayer didn't even exist. Faith considered leaving, but when she saw Buffy glance back at her, she moved away from the front door and stood at the outskirts of the dining room, her hands stuffed into the pockets of her borrowed jacket.

As Anya and Xander helped Tara bring juice, milk, and danishes to the table, Buffy sat at the end where Faith had been earlier. Willow and Dawn sat on each side of her. Soon the others joined them, but none of them could take their eyes off Buffy long enough to eat or drink anything.

"We're so sorry for bringing you back like we did," Willow said.

"We should've known better," Xander said bitterly. "We should have known that you wouldn't just materialize like a transporter beam or something."

"I didn't know what they were up to," Dawn said, "but if I had, I would've wanted them to do it." She dropped her gaze to her hands. "I don't know how many times I pulled out that resurrection spell that I tried to use when Mom died. Every day I wished and prayed for a way to get you back." She looked back up and grasped her sister's hand. "But I wouldn't have if I'd known you were in heaven."

"I know," Buffy said, trying not to let her pain seep through her facade. She could see how guilt-ridden they all were. There was no sense in making them feel worse than they already did.

"Did you...did you see Mom?" Dawn asked.

Buffy opened her mouth to speak, but at first no words came out. Her brow furrowed in confusion. "I...I don't know...I can't remember..."

"Ah, I'm sure you did," Xander interjected jovially as he took up a danish. "You and the Momster, hanging out in the heavenly kitchen, pigging out on french vanilla ice cream and chocolate chip cookies, talking about your favorite chick flicks..."

Everyone chuckled along with Xander--even Buffy, although her laughter was solely for their benefit.

When Faith saw Buffy laughing with her fellow Scoobies, she glanced away and began fingering the motorcycle keys in her pocket.

Damn, I need a smoke, she thought.

She stopped fiddling with her keys and pulled out her lighter. She flipped it end over end several times. She looked back to the dining room but found no one looking back at her. She glanced away and let out a sigh.

Come on, she told herself. You did your good deed, you brought the lost kid home, now it's time to get outta here.

Without a word to the others, she slipped out of the room and out the front door.

Cut To:
Summers Home -- Front Porch -- Continuous

As soon as Faith got outside, she pulled out her Lucky Strikes and lit up a cigarette. She paced the porch for a bit, trying to erase the sting of being left out and ignored. She felt that old sense of rejection--and the rage that came with it--creeping up inside her, and it took all of her will to force those feelings back down.

What were you expecting? her mind snidely remarked. A 'Welcome Back' banner with party hats and confetti?

"Hey."

Faith whipped around at the voice and found Tara standing a few feet away from her. "Hey," she answered, hoping that the blonde hadn't noticed how much she'd just scared the beejesus out of her. "Is Buffy okay?" she asked, thinking that was the only reason Tara had come outside.

"Oh, um, yeah…I mean, I guess," Tara said, glancing back for a second at the front door. "She seems okay. As okay as she can be, anyway."

"Oh. Okay," Faith said, relaxing a little.

"I just wanted to check on you. Do you want a juice or something?"

Faith shook her head and put on a rueful smile. "You don't have to be nice to me, you know. I treated you like shit when I was in Buffy's body, and I threatened to kill most of the others, so I'm not expecting a warm welcome."

"Well, you probably won't get one," Tara admitted. "Not from the others at least. But you are welcome." She smiled sincerely and even reached out to briefly touch the slayer's arm. "I'm glad you're here, Faith."

Faith's eyebrows shot up, and she looked at Tara intently. "You're different."

Tara was taken aback by Faith's statement. "What?"

"You're not so shy and stuttery."

Tara ducked her head in momentary embarrassment, causing Faith to scramble to rephrase.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to--I mean--it looks good on you, that's all I'm trying to say." Jesus, Lehane, you're a fuckin' idiot sometimes, she mentally cursed herself as she took a long drag off her cigarette.

Tara looked up and smiled, clearly touched by Faith's words. "Thanks," she told her before gesturing at her cigarette. "That's a nasty habit, you know…" she teased.

"Yeah, well, prison'll do that to ya...teach ya all kinds o' bad habits. Most people come out worse than they were before they went in."

Tara gazed at Faith curiously. "But you didn't."

Faith snorted in reply. "How would you know? Maybe I've got the Council fooled. Maybe I'm the same crazy killer I was when I got sent to jail."

Tara shook her head. "Nope. I can tell. And even if I couldn't…would a 'crazy killer' risk her life fighting demons all night? Would she take care of someone she used to hate?"

It was Faith's turn to be embarrassed. She glanced away and said, "Look, I gotta go." She didn't wait for a response. She threw down her cigarette, stamped it out, then hurried down the steps toward the sidewalk.

"But where are you going?" Tara called out.

Faith didn't answer.

Cut To:
Summers Home -- Dining Room -- Moments Later

When Tara came back into the house without Faith, Buffy's anxiety level went through the roof.

"Where's Faith?" she asked worriedly.

"Um, she left," Tara replied.

"She left?" Buffy said, shooting to her feet, her agitation now apparent to the others. "Well...w-w-where's she going? I-I-Is she coming back?"

"Oh, um, yeah. I mean, I'm sure she is," Tara assured her. "She probably just had some stuff to do. She'll be back before you know it."

When Buffy saw the concerned expressions on the others' faces, she realized that she was probably over-reacting. "Right. You're probably right," she said, slipping back into her seat.

She's fine, so get a grip, Buffy told herself. Besides, I'm sure she has better things to do than babysit the hysterical slayer who's back from the dead.

Buffy turned back to Dawn and tried to pay attention as the teen enthusiastically resumed the story she had been telling.

Cut To:
Apartment -- Minutes Later

After leaving the Summers home, Faith returned to the apartment behind the furniture store. As she turned into the alley, she was glad to see that her newly acquired motorcycle was just where she had left it. She gave the bike a caress before entering the outer door and going up the stairs to the apartment.

When she got to the stoop on the second floor, she knocked on the front door. She didn't expect to get an answer, but she figured it was better to be safe than sorry. After a few seconds of silent waiting, she opened the door.

As she pushed the door forward, she stopped to look at it more closely. She hadn't noticed it before, but she could see now that the lock had been broken, presumably when Buffy had kicked the door in after saving Faith from the Hellions.

Hate to leave it like that, she thought, imagining what could happen while the owner was still away. I'll have to tell somebody, see if they can get it fixed.

After leaving the front door, she went into the kitchen, opened the cabinet under the sink, and grabbed a garbage bag. Then she headed for the bathroom that was off the bedroom. When she got there, she picked up her 'demon-gunked' clothes and crammed them into the bag. When she gathered up Buffy's clothes, she looked at them for a moment, then shook her head and stuffed them into the bathroom's tiny garbage can, shoes and all.

No way is she gonna want these back.

After making up the bed, Faith picked up her bag and left the apartment.

Cut To:
Furniture Store Front -- Moments Later

After tying the garbage bag to her bike, Faith started the engine. She drove down the alley, went around the block, and then pulled up directly in front of the furniture store. She looked through the broken display windows but didn't see any movement inside.

I'll come back later, she thought to herself. Maybe somebody'll know who lives back there.

With her bike still idling, she considered her next move.

"Guess I could go see if my bag survived the bus fire," she said, thinking aloud this time.

She scoffed at her own suggestion. "It exploded in a fiery ball, you moron. Your bag's history."

She patted the front of her jacket. "Good thing I kept my wallet and stuff in my pocket. Gotta get some clothes, though. Guess I'll hit the thrift store. Maybe it got skipped over in the looting."

Cut To:
Downtowner Motel -- Lobby -- A Short Time Later

Fortunately for Faith, the thrift store, as well as the small discount store next to it, had emerged unscathed from the previous night's attack. Both had opened early and had been doing brisk business when Faith had gone in to get clothes and other personal necessities.

Now carrying those purchases and her dirty clothes in an off-white canvas laundry bag, Faith stepped into the lobby of an all-too-familiar place--the Downtowner Motel. Its decor, if it could even be called that, was the same old faded and outdated orange.

God, I hate this place. Why did I even come here? she asked herself.

Because it's still the cheapest place in town and you're not sure when your watcher's gonna get here with more cash.

She let out an unhappy grumble and headed for the front desk. She didn't recognize the clerk, but that didn't surprise her. The place had changed management about every three months when she'd lived there before.

"I need a room," she said as she reached the desk.

"Check-in's not until three o'clock," the clerk informed her.

Faith snorted. "Yeah, right. Look, we both know this place has check-ins every hour on the hour, so do you have a room or not?"

The clerk rolled his eyes and then glanced down at his chart. When he looked up, he said, "Thirty a night. Two hundred a week. Cash. In advance."

Thirty a night? Faith thought to herself. Three years ago it was eighteen. Talk about inflation.

Faith pulled out her wallet and handed over enough money for a week. Once she had signed the registration card, the clerk passed her the key and said, "You'll be in number three."

Faith's hand froze in the middle of taking the key, and she let her head fall back against her shoulders. Are you fuckin' kidding me? The same damn room? she mentally complained to the universe. Then she tilted her head back down and asked the clerk, "You got any others?"

The clerk crossed his arms and gave her a snide smile. "Nope."

Resigned to her irony, Faith took the key and trudged away from the desk.

Cut To:
Faith's Motel Room -- Minutes Later

With her sack of stuff slung over her shoulder, Faith unlocked the door and stepped inside. She flicked on the light and scanned the room, hoping that it looked better than it had when she had lived there before. Unfortunately, it looked exactly the same, right down to the dingy walls, the dated furniture, and the pathetic excuse of a television.

When her eyes fell on the interior side of the door, her mind took her back time.

Flashback to "Faith, Hope and Trick"
Faith's Motel Room -- Night

Buffy had just informed Faith that Kakistos was in Sunnydale, and now the dark slayer  was packing as fast as she could.

"You don't know me," Faith told her. "You don't know what I've been through." She finished cramming her belongings into her bag and headed for the door. "I'll take care of this, all right?"

"Like you took care of your Watcher?" Buffy countered.

Faith stopped cold. She let go of the doorknob and looked down sadly.

"Kakistos killed her, didn't he?" Buffy asked.

Faith clenched her jaw. "They don't have a word for what he did to her."

When they heard a knock at the door, Faith looked through the peephole and saw the manager, looking more strung out than usual.

"Oh, what now?" she groaned in annoyance as she reached for the doorknob.

"Faith, you run, he runs after you," Buffy reminded her.

"That's where the head start comes in handy," she replied as she opened the door.

Standing behind the dead manager, holding him up, was Kakistos. Aghast, Faith stepped back into the room. Kakistos dropped the manager's body and smiled at her.

"Faith," he said in a pleased voice before roaring and grabbing the dark slayer by the neck.

"No!" She clawed at his wrist, trying to pull him off of her, but he was too strong.

Buffy rushed up between them, shoved Faith back into the room, forcing

Kakistos to let go. Then she slammed the door on his arm. He yelled in rage and pain until he eventually had to pull his arm out. Buffy slammed the door shut, locked it, and put on the safety chain.

Cut To:
Faith's Motel Room -- Resume Present Time

Faith closed her eyes and shook her head, willing the unpleasant memory away. She sighed and set her bag down on the floor by the dresser.

"Just another time Buffy had to save my ass..." she grumbled as she plopped onto the bed. She scooted back and leaned on the pillows resting against the headboard. "Just another time she tried to help me and I pushed her away..."

She thought back to the other times Buffy had reached out to her and she had pushed the blonde away--after Gwendolyn Post had been revealed as a fraud, after Faith had killed Allan Finch, after Wesley had tried to take her into Council custody.

"Why did I push her away like that?"

She had asked herself that question a million times, and she still wasn't sure of the answer.

Did she think Buffy would betray her again? Or did she just hate being pitied?

Was she really better off alone? Or was she just too scared to open up, to make herself vulnerable?

Or maybe...deep inside...she just knew that Buffy would never love her.

And Faith had come to hate her for that.

The few times Faith'd had the courage to even try to get closer, Buffy had rejected her.

When they kissed for the first time, Buffy had freaked out and thrown herself into all things Scott Hope.

When their stag homecoming date led to a second and more emotionally intimate kiss, Buffy had predictably pulled away. Later, when Faith found out that Buffy had been hiding Angel's return, the sense of betrayal had felt like a humiliating slap in the face.

After that, Faith had distanced herself, avoiding her fellow slayer at all costs, even to the point of turning down her first-ever invitation to a real family Christmas. Ultimately, Faith had changed her mind and had surprised the blonde by showing up at the house on Christmas Eve night, "crappy" gifts in hand.

Although the smile on Buffy's face had lit up Faith's heart, the evening hadn't gone as planned. Mere moments after Faith's arrival, Buffy had run after the troubled Angel, once again leaving the dark slayer behind.

When Buffy returned the next morning shortly after sunrise, she had found Faith on watch, as promised, and her mother and sister long since in bed.

Flashback to "Amends"
Summers Home -- Living Room -- Early Morning

Faith was walking the floor for the fiftieth time in the last hour, debating whether or not to go looking for Buffy, when she heard the front door open. She whipped around and then let out a relieved breath when she saw a safe-and-sound Buffy come inside and shut the door.

Faith's sense of relief faded when she saw Buffy walk wearily to the sofa and plop down. For hours, she'd been worried that Angel had killed Buffy. Now, seeing the defeated look on Buffy's face, she was worried about the opposite scenario--that Buffy had been forced to kill him...again.

After a moment of feet shuffling and hand wringing, Faith went and sat on the edge of the couch near the blonde.

"So, um...how'd things go?" Faith made herself ask. "Is Angel okay?"

Buffy sighed heavily and nodded, then leaned up and rested her elbows on her knees. "I think he's free of the hold the First had on him. I'm sure he'll be fine now."

"Good. That's good," Faith said evenly before glancing away.

The two fell into awkward silence. Faith's eyes darted around the room, landing anywhere but on Buffy as she struggled to come up with something appropriate to say. Although a part of her wished that Angel really was dead, she didn't want it to be at Buffy's hand. She couldn't imagine putting her through that.

The sudden sound of a stifled sob brought Faith out of her thoughts and made her turn immediately to Buffy. She found the blonde covering her face with both hands and crying hard--something Faith had never seen.

Hesitantly, Faith moved closer and placed a hand on Buffy’s back. "Hey, a-a-are you okay? What's the matter? What's wrong?"

At first, Buffy only sobbed louder. Then she sat up and dropped her hands. "Everything," she whispered in a choked voice. "I almost lost Angel today." She turned to face Faith and made a helpless shrug. "He was going to kill himself. Just let sunrise catch him on an isolated ridge."

"But...you saved him, right?"

Buffy shook her head. "Not me. I tried, but he wouldn't listen, and then time ran out, and--"

Buffy slumped for a moment, as if giving up on how to explain what had happened. Then she got up and walked to the window. Faith followed. Buffy opened the curtain and gestured at the snow still falling outside. Faith got it: heavy cloud cover plus showers of snow equaled no sun.

"It was a miracle," Buffy said, but without any awe or elation. Instead, she had hopeless tears streaming down her face. She looked at Faith, who stood beside her. "I should be happy. Angel's alive, and we even got to walk around town together in the daytime...I should be happy, but I'm not."

Buffy's crying was turning into sobs again, but this time into angry, frustrated ones. She went on in a shuddering voice as she paced the living room floor.

"It doesn't change anything! One stupid snow-day walk doesn't change a single thing! It's just a cruel reminder of what Angel and I can never have!" Her rage temporarily spent, Buffy stopped pacing and brought her hands to her face again. "It's not fair," she sobbed, "it's not fair..."

Faith hurried over to Buffy and quickly pulled her into a warm hug. She gently stroked Buffy's back as the blonde cried against her. "It's okay," she told her. "It's okay. I’ve got you." She repeated those words many times before Buffy's sobs finally subsided.

Buffy pulled back from their embrace but not away. Her eyes were anguished as she met Faith's concerned gaze. "What am I going to do?" she pleaded hoarsely, tears still trickling down her face. "I--"

"Shhhh," Faith whispered, reaching up to brush the tears from Buffy's cheek with her thumb. "Don't worry about that right now. Everything will be okay. You'll see."

Buffy's eyes softened in heartfelt gratitude, and when Faith leaned forward and placed a comforting kiss on her lips, she couldn't help but respond. She lifted her hand to Faith's cheek, caressing it as she eagerly returned the dark slayer's embrace.

But then, as before, something inside Buffy eventually made her stop. She forced herself to pull out of the kiss and to place her hand against Faith's chest. "I can't," she whispered, her eyes downcast. "I just...can't..."

Faith cupped Buffy's cheek and waited for her to glance back up. When she did, she softly asked, "Why not? I know you want to."

Buffy's expression was agonized as the two slayers stared deeply into each other's eyes. After what seemed like an eternity, Buffy pulled out of Faith's arms and backed away.

"Because I'm too screwed up right now to even think about another relationship," she answered, her gaze averted. After letting out a deep breath, she added ruefully, "Besides...I know this is just a fling for you, and I--"

Faith instantly cut her off, "What if I told you it wasn't?"

What the hell are you doin'?!! Faith's mind screamed at her. She will never let go of Angel. You're just beggin' for a heartbreak.

Faith didn't waver, though. She just anxiously waited for Buffy's answer.

At the blurted-out question, Buffy's head had shot up. Now shock was on her face as she saw the sincerity in Faith's eyes. For a moment, she seemed to consider the brunette's unspoken offer, but then she dropped her gaze and silently shook her head.

Faith had to look away. Told ya, her mind huffed at her. She could feel her eyes welling up, but she gritted her teeth and clenched her jaw and forced the sadness down. "I should go," she said, heading for the front door.

"Faith!" Buffy called out.

She ignored Buffy's plea and continued toward the door, talking over her shoulder. "Thanks for inviting me. I'll see you around."

Without another word, Faith walked out of the door and into the cold winter day alone, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Cut To:
Faith's Motel Room -- Resume Present Time

Faith blinked away the tears threatening to appear in her eyes.

That was a long time ago, she reminded herself as she rose from the bed. No sense cryin' about it now. Didn't do any good then, sure as hell ain't gonna do any good now.

As she walked around the small room, her thoughts inexplicably kept returning to images of Buffy crying--how upset she'd been that Christmas morning, how shaken and traumatized she'd been just hours before when Faith had found her sobbing in the bedroom of the apartment behind the furniture store. She felt a strong urge to go and check on Buffy, but her mind immediately shot that idea down.

You really think the Scoobies want you crashin' their big reunion party?

Besides, why would Buffy need you when she's got her friends and her sister to take care of her?

Hell, the Council's probably gonna decide it doesn't need you either, so just ditch all this emotional shit, do your fuckin' job, and enjoy your freedom while you can. You're here on borrowed time anyway, you know that.

Faith sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Yeah, I know," she told herself.

She took off her jacket, kicked off her boots, and turned out the light. Then she crawled into the bed and closed her eyes, hoping that sleep would come.

Fade Out.

Fade In:
Summers Home -- Living Room -- Near Noon

For the past several hours, Buffy had been subjected to an overly enthusiastic Scoobies catch-up party. Her sister and friends were filling her in on everything that had happened since her death. Although they did mention Giles's departure, they focused instead on the lighter events of the summer, always telling Buffy with each one that they wished she'd been there.

At the moment, Willow, Tara, Xander, and Anya were laughing as Dawn told her sister about the infamous Parent-Teacher Day that had occurred days before.

"God, I was so worried that Buffybot would blow it," Dawn said, "but she did really well." Saddening a bit, she turned to Willow and Tara. "She didn't come home last night."

"I know," Tara said sympathetically. "We can go look for her tonight."

"She's probably still in the woods somewhere," Willow added. "We can use the handheld scanner..."

As Willow and the others went on, Buffy tried to stay focused on the conversation but was failing miserably. Her smiles were becoming noticeably forced, and she was beginning to fidget in her seat. She knew she couldn't take much more, especially when all she could think about was Faith.

Where is she? Why hasn't she come back?

Maybe she ran away. Perfect chance to.

No, she wouldn't. Buffy turned and frowned at the front door. Would she?

She couldn't even bear to consider that possibility. Just the thought of Faith leaving Sunnydale filled her with fear and anguish.

"Are you all right?"

Startled by the question directed at her, Buffy jumped slightly and turned back to the others. Struggling to compose herself, her gaze went from person to person; she didn't even know who had spoken. "I, um, I-I-I'm just...tired," she finally blurted. "Really tired," she added as she got to her feet. "I think I need to go lie down."

"Oh, um, okay," Willow said as everyone also stood up.

"Hey, no problem," Xander said with a smile. "We can do some more catching up later."

"Dawnie, why don't you take your sister upstairs? Show her where she can lie down?" Tara gave the teenager a pointed look, and Dawn got the message: Buffy didn't know about the room swapping yet.

"Right! Sure, I can do that. Come on, Buffy," Dawn said before leading her sister up the stairs.

Cut To:
Summers Home -- Dawn's Bedroom -- Moments Later

Once they got to the second floor, Dawn turned around and stopped in the hallway. She twisted her fingers in a knot and gave her sister a worried look.

"Don't be mad, but...we kinda rearranged while you were gone." At Buffy's confused expression, Dawn pointed at the master bedroom. "Willow and Tara took Mom's room since it was bigger, and I, uhhh, I took your room."

Dawn winced, expecting an outraged objection from her sister, but all Buffy did was blink her eyes and say, "Oh."

"I didn't take it right away," Dawn rushed to explain. "For the longest time, we didn't change anything. And when Willow got Buffybot running again, that's where she slept. Well, recharged." She twisted her fingers in knots again, then made herself stop. "Sometimes I'd go in there and sleep next to her. It was almost like you weren't really gone. Almost. I just missed you so much." She let out a heavy sigh. "But after a while, it hurt more to pretend that you were still here, when I knew deep inside that you weren't and you were never going to be. I had to do something, so I moved Buffybot into my room, and..."

Dawn trailed off and gave a sheepish shrug, but Buffy didn't say anything in reply. She knew that she should feel something for Dawn, empathize with her grief somehow, but she couldn't. So she just walked past the teen and entered her room. She glanced around, trying to recognize some semblance of her former bedroom.

Dawn joined her and said, "I didn't change everything. See?" She went to her bed and picked up Mr. Gordo, Buffy's beloved stuffed pig. She handed the toy to her sister and smiled. "Why don't you nap here?" she suggested. "Anya and Xander's stuff is still in the other room, anyway."

Buffy felt a wave of emotion come over her.  She couldn't speak, so she just nodded. Dawn gave her sister's arm a squeeze and then left the room.

The minute Dawn closed the door, Buffy turned away from it and drew in a heaving breath. She hugged Mr. Gordo to her chest and let the sobs come. She had held back her pain as long as she could, but now she had to let it out.

None of this is right, none of this is right, she thought as she cried. How can it be when it hurts so much? God, I wish Faith was here...

Outside the room, Dawn leaned against the door, eavesdropping. When she heard Buffy crying, she frowned and dropped her gaze to the floor. After a moment, she walked away and headed back downstairs.

Cut To:
Summers Home -- Living Room -- Minutes Later

When Dawn came back down, the others could tell she was upset.

"What is it, Dawnie?" Willow asked. "What happened?"

"She's crying," Dawn said. "I explained about the switching and took her to her room--my room--but she hardly said anything, and the second I shut the door to let her rest, she started crying. I could hear her in the hall."

"I'm sure it's not about the room, sweetie," Tara said reassuringly. "She's still recovering from a really bad trauma. She may cry a lot over the next few days."

"She got ripped out of heaven, she's lucky she's sane," Anya noted. "I'm just saying..." she added defensively at a glare from Xander.

"I'm just not used to Buffy crying," Dawn said as she returned to her previous seat. "Even when Mom died, she barely--" After a deep breath, she softly asked, "What do you think it was like? Being in heaven, I mean."

"We don't know," Tara answered honestly. "It could have been any number of heavenly dimensions. All we know is that...it was a good place and she was happy there."

"And we took her away from that," Willow said guiltily. "We wrecked it for her."

"We didn't wreck," Xander said. "We didn't know."

"We didn't wanna know," Willow said. "We were so selfish. I was so selfish."

"Maybe we were," Xander admitted, "but I just feel weird feeling bad that my friend's not dead. It's...too mind-boggling. So I've decided to simplify the whole thing. Me like Buffy. Buffy's alive, so, me glad."

"I'm glad, too," Dawn added, "but...she's so sad. I wouldn't have wished for her to come back if I had known how much it would hurt her."

For a full minute, everyone stared off into guilt-ridden silence. Then Tara spoke up.

"Guys, we have to stop obsessing about what we did and focus on making things better for Buffy."

Xander began to suggest possibilities. "We, ah, we need to spend time with her, just hang out. Maybe have...weekly dinners or something."

Willow brightened. "I have a better idea. I know this spell. It's called Tabula Rasa. I can make Buffy forget that she was ever in heaven."

"What?!" Tara exclaimed in shock.

"It's perfect," Willow went on. "Without those memories, Buffy can--"

"No, Willow...no!" Tara said angrily. She opened her mouth as if to say more but then couldn't. She just made a fed-up growl and rushed upstairs.

After Tara left, Dawn gave Willow a disgusted look. "Way to go, Miss Sensitivity."

Willow was clueless. "What?"

"How can you even suggest a spell like that after what Glory did to Tara?" Dawn demanded.

Willow still wasn't following. "But...I fixed that, I--" 

Xander cut her off but gently. "Will, you can't 'fix' a rape, not even a mental one. Sure, you gave Tara her mind back, but she's always gonna remember what it was like to have somebody invade her brain."

"And now you're suggesting doing the same thing to Buffy," Anya pointed out.

"The Tabula Rasa spell is nothing like what Glory did," Willow insisted. "Buffy won't even know I was there. I'll just make a few tweaks and--"

Dawn shot to her feet. "Who died and made you God? You don't get to decide what stays in Buffy's brain and what doesn't!" She stormed off to the kitchen.

Anya rolled her eyes, already weary of the drama. "I'm gonna go get our stuff," she informed Xander.

Still dumbfounded, Willow turned to her best friend. "I-I-I was just trying to make things better..."

"I know, Will," Xander said, "but magic can't fix everything. Sometimes we gotta do things the old fashioned Muggles way."

"Just stand by and watch our friend suffer because of something we did?" Willow asked with tears in her eyes.

"Not standing by--standing with," he corrected. "We're gonna help Buffy through this."

He patted his friend's shoulder and then headed upstairs, leaving Willow all alone.

Cut To:
Summers Home -- Willow & Tara's Bedroom -- A Short Time Later

After Xander and Anya had left and Dawn had given her the cold shoulder in the kitchen and stalked into the backyard, Willow cautiously made her way into the master bedroom. As she came in, she saw the blonde turn from the window and face her.

"Hey," Willow said as she quietly closed the door. She took a few steps toward her girlfriend and stopped. "I just wanted to apologize for what I said earlier. It was pretty insensitive considering what you've been through. I'm sorry."

Tara didn't seem amenable to apologies at the moment. "You can't just violate somebody's mind like that," she warned her. "It's not right."

Willow held her hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay, I get it."

Tara crossed her arms. "I don't think you do."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that you don't seem sorry about the suggestion at all. I can see it in your eyes. All you're sorry about is saying anything to us about it. You wish you'd just stayed quiet and then done the spell on your own."

"Oh really?" Willow shot back. "Did you see that in my aura? Are you a mind reader now?"

"I don't have to be a mind reader to see that you are using too much magic!"

"What?!" Willow asked in disbelief.

"Lately, any time things get rough--or even when nothing's rough at all--you don't even consider the options. You just...do a spell. It's not good for you, Willow. And it's not what magic is for."

"But I-I-I just wanna help people," Willow defended in a softer voice.

"Maybe that's how it started, but...you're helping yourself now. You can't stand the guilt of what we did to Buffy, so you wanna fix it with a spell."

"That...that is not what's going on!" Willow argued, her anger returning.

"Look, I don't wanna talk about it anymore right now," Tara said, "I need to go down and make lunch for Dawn."

At that, Tara walked away, leaving a grumbling Willow behind.

"Jeez...they all act like I'm suggesting we lobotomize her or something," she muttered to herself. "Like I'd be that clumsy."

"And Tara was making it sound like it was all my fault--that I did this to Buffy, that I'm the one who made her so miserable. Hey, news flash! She was in on it, too. All of them were. They wanted Buffy back as much as I did. So if I'm to blame, then we all are."

She stopped and thought for a moment. "Unlessssss...Faith did something to her..."

Willow cocked her head, thinking once more, almost as if she were listening to someone who wasn't there.

And she was.

Standing behind Willow was a shadowy, mist of a figure, invisible to the human eye. Its long-fingered, insubstantial hands were resting on the redhead's shoulders as it whispered into her ear.

As Willow listened, her expression turned cold, and her narrowed eyes began to darken.
 

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